Perfectionist
by xKatieBearx
Summary: Kate's relationship with Sawyer struggles through high school, Wayne and her mom.
1. Meeting Wayne

**Sugar: Perfectionist**

**My first ever fanfic. It started off as a birthday present, but its progressed :P **

_Anyway, sadly… I do not own Lost, or anything at all, and they totally belong to their creators and genius people. _

_R&R pleaaaase! _

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**Meeting Wayne**

Kate smiled nervously to everyone as they eyed the blue pickup truck in her driveway. There was giggling floating through the open window of her house, and shadows dancing in the kitchen. Kate shuddered. What the hell now? Sawyer, Jack, Charlie, Claire, Shannon, Ana-Lucia, Sayid, Hurley and Libby all followed her gaze, watching in apprehension as she stepped warily up the pathway.

"Mom?" She called nervously, digging in her jeans pocket and unlocking the door. Her mother was teetering on the kitchen stool, her eyes too bright showing she had been drinking, and a man stood at the sink, his mouth curled in a smile. "Hey…" She began, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Are you uh…"

"Hello!" Her mother trilled, sliding off the stool and pulling her into a crushing hug.

"Mom!" Kate shrieked, aware that the whole group of her friends was behind her. "Ow!"

"Oops! Sorry…" She slurred, backing away and pulling at the man's sleeve. "This is Wayne!" She beamed, pointing to Kate's friends in a vague sense of introducing, although they had all heard Kate's grumbles about him for months.

"Hi." Jack smiled politely, followed by a gabble of Heys and Hellos.

"Hi, Katie…" He grinned, his voice slimy and over-confident.

"Kate." She scowled, the constant nickname getting on her last nerve.

"Oh right, sorry… Katie." Her face fell slightly, and she felt her friends bristle. Her mother, however seemed oblivious and was pouring another drink.

"Mom, I'm going to sleepover at Claire's…"

"Oh, no, not tonight… its school tomorrow."

"Its Friday, mom…"

"Oh… well… its ten o'clock, it's a bit late…"

"I told you about it yesterday." Kate lied, making it up as she went along. They had only decided on the sleepover an hour ago, so they all knew it. "You said I could."

"Oh… ok, then… bye then…"

"I gotta go get my stuff first, ma…" She bit, disgusted by her mother's slurred speech. "I'll be down in a minute." She smiled, her expression changing as she turned to face her friends. They nodded, and went back to watching Wayne and her mother.

"Me and Wayne are gonna go upstairs, cause… we're a bit tipsy!" She exclaimed, pulling Wayne towards the hallway. "So lock up the house, kay?"

"Yes." Kate bit. "One minute." She repeated, following the drunken pair upstairs. She turned the corner sharply, and tripped into her room, pulling out a bag and ransacking her wardrobe.

"So Katie…" A voice drawled out from the hall. "Lookin' beautiful as always…"

"Kate." She growled. "And you wanna let my mom hear you talking like that?" His arm shot out and taking a firm hold of her forearm. She tried to pull away gently, then harder, as his grip increased. "Get off." She murmured.

"No, baby… come on, your mommy's nothin' special, but you are…" He cocked her head to one side, and used his thumb to trace her lips.

"Get off!" She said louder, pulling away roughly and lunging down to pick up her bag. Wayne stood, cockily looking her up and down, before swaggering back into her mums bedroom. Kate shuddered, her eyes filling with involuntary tears. She let herself crumple to the floor, a single tear sliding down her face. She brushed it away harshly, why the hell was she acting like this? He hadn't done anything… he hadn't… she shuddered again, pulling herself to her feet and ramming the rest of her clothes into the blue bag, before hurrying back downstairs.

"You ok, Freckles?" Sawyer asked nervously, appearing by her side as she fumbled with the keys, ushering everyone out. "You look a bit-."

"I'm fine." She snapped, swinging the bag over her shoulder. "Just don't want to be in the room, while they…" She trailed of, shuddering at the graphic image it scrawled in her mind. Sawyer nodded, his face in a grimace.

"Yeah, I getcha." He smirked, taking the keys from her hands and locking the door himself. "There ya go."

"Thanks…" She breathed, pocketing them and turning to face the rest of the group. "Shall we go?"

"Bout time…" Ana growled, her expression changing instantly as she faced Jack. "You wanna stop off for burgers before we hit Claire's." Jack nodded, looking over at Claire for agreement, but realising she was deep conversation with Charlie.

"Dudes, they haven't spoken for like an hour. I have no idea what their talking about, but… woah… seems pretty deep. I heard something like "Guys can cry too." And "Feminine rights."… that's like… serious." Sawyer eyed the couple nervously disgusted at his friend's ability to start a conversation that actually involved _feelings_, then gave another peek at Kate, who was staring blankly ahead.

"You sure your alright?" He asked softly, slipping away from the gaggle of teens a few steps ahead and lagging behind with Kate.

"Yeah…"

"Wayne?" He asked knowingly. "He said somethin' again?"

"No, he just… damn I hate him!" She yelped suddenly, slapping her hand against her side knocking Sawyer's arm away by accident. "Sorry…" She added.

"Well, like ya said…she's bound ta chuck him sooner or later."

"Or him her." Kate added brightly. "I don't think he can stand just screwing one woman… urgh…" She muttered, shuddering again and making Sawyer snigger.

"You'll understand one day…" He said deliberately, earning a soft whack.

"Shut up." She muttered darkly, linking arms with him non the less to keep out the biting cold. "Damn its cold."

"I know, that's why…" He said impressively, spinning her round to show her the big yellow arch. "We're stopping at McDonalds on the way."

"That was Ana's idea. Not yours." Kate smirked, letting him pull her inside to catch up with the rest of them. The light blared down, making Kate wince slightly, she'd been fighting a headache all day, and this wasn't helping.

"Want your usual?" Sawyer murmured.

"Yup." Kate smiled, letting Sawyer steer her into the seat were the girls were waiting.

"See ya in a minute, Freckles." He smiled. Kate shuffled up next to Shannon, letting her friends feather blonde hair tickle her nose.

"Hey." She murmured, being greeted by her friends grins. "The guys getting' your meals then?"

"Yep, Sawyer getting yours?"

"Yep." She smiled, tucking her hair out of her eyes and looking round, Sawyer and Jack were yet again talking heatedly. It seemed like that pair hated each other… "Damn Shannon…" She muttered, seeing her friend reach an arm out to pick up a straw. "Your… have you lost weight?"

"No." She smiled brightly, looking slightly pleased. "I just used a new moisturiser."

"A new moisturiser doesn't make you lose five pounds over a week…" She exclaimed, plucking at her friends clothing. "Damn, Shannon!" She repeated.

"Oh for godsake Kate, you don't have to worry, your so thin anyway." She laughed nervously.

"Shannon I-… you've… never mind." She sighed, as Sayid placed Shannon's salad in front of her.

"Have been crying?" Claire asked softly and quickly, before the rest of the guys came back from the counter. "Your eyes look kind of-."

"No." She bustled. "Just cold outside, y'know…"

"There ya go, Freckles." Sawyer smiled, handing Kate her cheeseburger. "Least you've got a bigger appetite than Sticks over there."

"Sawyer!" She hissed, still worried by her friends striking appearance. "Thanks." Jack swooped over Kate's head, placing the meal in front of Ana. Her flirtatious behaviour made Kate practically cringe, as she batted her eyelashes in the most un Ana-Lucia way ever.

"There you go." Hurley grinned, placing Libby's meal in front of her, as Charlie did the same with Claire. "Enjoy." Libby smiled shyly up at him, her toffee blonde hair shimmering as she moved her head.

"Looks like Moon Beam's got herself a date." Sawyer smirked, mussing Kate's hair up slightly. She grimaced and shrugged him off, flattening her curls down immediately.

"Don't." She snapped, smirking at him non the less as he helped, combing her hair down too.

"Sorry, Freckles." He chuckled, nuzzling her nose with his and making her blush. They were only friends, but very, very close ones.

"I think I'll live." She giggled, taking a chip and nibbling at it absentmindedly. "Jus' don't do it again."

"Hey Col!" Sawyer yelled suddenly, spinning away from Kate. "Come over here!" The blonde at the cash register turned round, a sickly smile plastered on her face.

"Hey… Sawyer." She purred, leaving her friend to pay for the meals and waltzing over to the group on onlookers.

"I wondered if you wanted to come back to mine?" Kate gaped at the pair, as Sawyer flicked her nose goodbye and stood up, not waiting for her answer. "Bye guys." He smirked, as Colleen linked arms with him, and they sauntered out of the restaurant. Leaving Colleen's friend looked very pissed off at the register, brandishing a limp kids meal. Kate stared after them, bemused at how easily Sawyer could pull. At sixteen, he was hardly shy with the girls, and a lot of the girls were hardly shy with him… she knew coming back to mine, basically meant sex, and often, when Sawyer played with her hair, or gave her the big bear hugs she had grown so used to, she wondered how he could be loving and caring towards her, yet treat the girls he slept with, so carelessly, in an almost detached manner. Charlie waved a hand across her face, attempting to snap her out of her reverie.

"Woah, earth to Kate, Sawyer's bum's not that great." He grinned as she blushed deeply, fiddling about with the greasy chips on her plate.

"No seriously, your like… practically a couple, but… like… not." Hurley stammered, as Libby's shoulder touched his.

"We're just good friends… he's like my brother." She smiled, hoping to god that was why she felt desperately jealous of the skinny blonde stalking her way across the car park, her skirt noticeably ruffled, her arm linked with Sawyer's.

"Yeah, your brother who you'd like to-."

"Charlie!" Claire exclaimed, her bubbly Australian accent catching his attention. "If Kate says she doesn't fancy him… then she doesn't…" Her voice sounded slightly uncertain as she shot Kate a sideways glance.

"Well I think its romantic." Shannon smirked, cosying up to Sayid further. "Friends first!"

"Shan!" Kate exclaimed, blushing worse than ever now, letting her hair hand down across her face. "Shut up!"

"Ok, ok… should we just pack up our food and take it back to mine?" Claire asked, standing up and adjusting her jeans. Everyone nodded, scooping up their cartons and boxes, and making their way in the cold autumn air, back to Claire's house.

* * *

"Ok, ok…" Shannon exclaimed, rolling her eyes dramatically and flopping down on the bed. "Yes. Well tell Sabrina I'm not going to be back until tomorrow… well how dare she!? Put her on, Boone… no, no I've had enough. The spiteful bitch has it in for me, and now's her chance to… BITCH!" She shrieked, making a sleepy Kate jump slightly. Hurley snickered, as she rubbed her eyes blinking in the sudden noise.

"Who's she talking 'bout?" She slurred.

"Sabrina." Jack muttered, clearly tired of the blonde's shrill voice. "She's read her diary or something…"

"YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Shannon practically shrieked. "YOUR NOT MY MOM!"

"Don't we all know it…" Claire groaned, as Kate's eyes drooped again. "Kate, are you sure you ok? Your zoning out on us…"

"Fine, I'm just tired." She laughed, flicking her hair back and resting against the back of the sofa. "Um… was I asleep?"

"Yeah." Jack said fondly, covering his emotions well and leaning back on his palms. "You were completely out of it. You didn't even move."

"Yeah, you were like a doll." Hurley smirked, his eyes wide in honesty, making Kate blush slightly.

"Sorry…" She muttered, rubbing her eyes again and looking round the room at the teenagers sprawled on the carpet. "How long was I-."

"Fifteen minutes." Claire smiled, stretching slightly and running her fingers through her hair. "An a bit." Shannon let out another disgruntled squeal, as a loud knock echoed through the house. Seeing as Kate was nearest the door, she clambered to her feet, brushing the popcorn off her lap and made her way through the hall, signalling to Claire she had it. She could see a blonde blur through the hazy window, and smiled gently. Sawyer had obviously skipped out on his night of wild fun and decided to join them again, but the smile she had plastered over her face slipped off as she opened the door, and a bloody Sawyer collapsed into her, knocking her off her feet and onto the floor.


	2. Perfectionist

**Ok, second chapter**

**Thank you SO much for the reviews, aw they made me smile! I might continue a few chapters, hehe //hugs// **

**The stories meant to feature them all, but have strong Kate undertones, cause she's my mate's favourite character, and we both think her past is really sad, so… here goes.**

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**Perfectionist**

Kate wasn't the screaming type, but couldn't help let a small shriek out, as Sawyer's weight sent her flying to the floor.

"Help!" She called, struggling to her feet, hearing Sawyer groan slightly and lift himself up from her.

"Sorry…" He murmured, pushing himself up roughly off the limp brunette, and leaning his back against the wall. She stared in horror at his appearance, clambering to her knees and putting her hands to his face.

"Jesus, Sawyer what happened? Are you ok?" His lip was slowly dripping blood, as was his nose, and a black eye was slowly forming.

"Fine I jus-."

"Oh my god!" Shannon squealed, who was the first to come skidding into the hallway, her pink socks acting as ice skates on the waxed floor. "What happened?"

"I was about to say-." Sawyer began, as a startled Jack helped him to his feet.

"Woah, dude…" Hurley breathed. "Your like…"

"Move!" Jack called, pushing past and leading the limping Sawyer back into the living room, shoving him into the sofa and dashing back into the kitchen.

"What happened?" Kate pushed, sitting next to him and peering into his face.

"I uh…" He said sheepishly. "Ran into somebody…"

"Somebody…?" Kate asked suspiciously. "You mean…?"

"Pickett." He snarled, anger evident in his voice as Jack pressed a wet flannel into his hands, which he used to wipe the blood from his chin. "_Apparently_ him and Colleen were kind of… dating."

"Oh for god sake Sawyer." She hissed. "Keep it in your pants why dontcha?"

"She was worth it…" He smirked, wincing immediately as his mouth throbbed painfully. "Hey twinkle-toes!" He breathed, signalling to Claire. "Get me a drink?"

"Oh… yeah, sure…" She exclaimed, dashing into the kitchen and running the tap.

"Why the hell did he-."

"I screwed his girl, Freckles… fair dues…"

"Fair-?" She choked, raking his hair out of his eyes and staring at him. "Your… condoling this?"

"Hey, least you got laid." Charlie grinned, clapping Sawyer on the back much to Kate, Claire and Libby's annoyance.

"Charlie!" Claire hissed, nudging him and sitting on the armrest. "Stop encouraging him!"

"No, seriously, you think its ok, for him to just come up and smack you?" Kate asked incredulously,

"I ain't happy about it." He scowled, letting her run a finger over his lip, giving her a suggestive smirk.

"Oh for god sake grow up!" She snapped, sitting heavily down and folding her arms. The damage to Sawyer's face was considerably less than expected, and once Kate had cleared away the blood, he almost looked normal, except for the large bruise, now fully formed over his left eye… "There, you don't look that bad." Kate smirked, the freckles on her nose dancing as she scrunched it up.

"That bad? Well, comin' from you that's a compliment." He smirked back, wrapping an arm round her middle and forcing her back onto the couch, his fingers dancing over her stomach making her giggle.

"Get off!" She smiled, still pretending in vain to be angry with him. "Your lips bleedin' again." He swore quietly, wiping the scarlet trickle away from his chin.

"You gonna kiss it better?" He smirked, running his fingers through his hair, and leaning back against the couch, his arm wrapping round Kate's shoulders and pulling her towards him. "Ok, ok… you just sit there. Don't mind me bleedin' to death…"

"I won't." She smirked, resting her head against his chest and playing absentmindedly with a strand of his hair. "BUT you need to get your hair cut."

"How dare you." He said in faux hurt, picking up a strand of hers and playing with it too. "You need an even bigger haircut, Freckles. You've got split ends… hey… did you hit your head?" He asked suddenly, parting her chocolate curls to reveal a painful gash just above her neck, in her hairline. "Damn…"

"Oh, yeah." She said nervously, sitting up quickly. "I fell and hit my head on the sink. Damn floor." He didn't look convinced and continued to part her hair gently. "Sawyer…" She began, shrugging her shoulders to push his hands away. "I did it ages ago…"

"You did that last week or somethin'… when you had the cold?"

"Yeah."

"Kate… did-." He stopped abruptly, his eyes widening. Kate, glad for the distraction looked round. And wished she hadn't. Ana had her lips pressed against Jack's her eyes closed and her hands slightly awkwardly on his waist. Sawyer wolf whistled loudly, causing Jack to turn red. "Woo! Jacko!" He drawled. "And Chica! Never thought you two would hook up…"

"We're not-." Jack bit, causing the smile to fall off Ana's face. Kate cringed again, as much as she disliked Ana, that must have hurt! While Sawyer was making some knew sexual innuendo, she quickly tied her hair back into a bun, so it covered the cut on her head. She didn't need him asking any more questions. Shannon, Hurley and Claire made some shocked squealing noises as whatever Sawyer had just said, and jogged Kate out of her reverie. "We were just-." Jack protested weakly, torn between a glare from Ana-Lucia and the smug looking smirk from Sawyer. "Uh-."

"I know what you were doin'." He smirked, "But hey, poor Rambina couldn't wait for me forever." Ana glared at him, and shuffled away from Jack in annoyance, Sawyer gave another wide smirk but hissed, and yelped, pressing a thumb to his split lip. Kate guffawed and used another wash cloth to dab at it.

"So what are you gonna do next time you see him?" She questioned, using her free hand to pull back his hair slightly, revealing yet another gash.

"I could take him on anytime… he took me by surprise." He reasoned, causing Kate to give another smirk.

"Yeah you could." She smiled, "Did he get you anywhere else?"

"Mm… no." He said gruffly, putting his hands protectively over his chest. Kate raised her eyebrows, yanked up his shirt, and gasped.

"Jeez, Sawyer he laid into you…" There was an ugly purple mark just underneath his ribcage, as she pressed her hands gently onto his bruised skin, and felt his intake of breath. "Ooh, honey that's bad…"

"Honey?" He quizzed, causing Kate to blush deeply. His smirk reached his eyes, and they sparkled at her sexily.

"You need ice or something?" Claire asked nervously, placing her burger wrapper on the table and standing up. Kate nodded, and pulled Sawyer's shirt up further, examining the area round it. He leant back slightly, relieving the pressure from his chest. Claire padded back in with a block of ice wrapped in a tea towel, and handing it to Kate. "Here…"

"Thanks." She smiled, carefully wrapping it tighter and pressing it gently against his chest. Her fingers brushed against his tanned chest, feeling his muscles tense at the cold radiating through the towel.

"Damn, Freckles… you gonna be a nurse when you grow up?" He smirked. "Seriously, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Practise." She murmured, so low under her breath that no one heard.

"You gonna buy a nurses outfit?" He smirked suggestively. She groaned, and jabbed one of her fingers into his bruise. He yelped and blinked at her. "What the hell was that fer?"

"For being a jackass." She sighed, throwing the towel down on his lap and scowling. Why could he never be serious? He looked slightly annoyed by her flippant attitude, and slumped backwards. She tucked the strands of hair away from her eyes, and stood up properly. "I'm going to the bathroom." She said, her voice flat, causing everyone to turn and look at her. "What?" She snapped. Stepping over the McDonalds wrappers and throwing the one stuck to her jeans at the couch. Jack frowned, and turned away from Ana who was looking after Kate, her eye sparkling with acid. She made her way slowly up the stairs, her stomach heavy, and slipped into the upstairs bathroom. This was stupid. She was having a fun time downstairs, chatting to her friends and enjoying their company. Wayne was back home. So why did it still cause her to panic? She was actually shaking, as she gripped the sink, and tried to force the rational thoughts into her head. Her mum was an adult. Her mum knew what she was doing. She was safe… she jumped slightly, as there was a loud knock. Looking at her pale reflection, she scrubbed at her eyes and opened the door.

"Hey, Freckles…" Sawyer began, looking slightly nervous.

"Hey yourself." She breathed flatly, running her hands through her hair. "What is it?"

"Was just… y'know…" He began. "You were kind of snappy. Cause unless your PMS-ing, I-."

"What?" Kate chuckled, leaning heavily against the door frame. He grunted in embarrassment, pulling at his hair and straightening up. He looked at her mockingly for a moment, but then his gaze softened.

"How did you hit your head, Kate?" _Kate_. He only ever used that name when it was serious. She was a good liar, it came naturally, and the words were rolling off her tongue before she even processed it.

"I fell and hit my head on the sink…"

"We both know that didn't happen…" He said softly.

"What?" She breathed, her voice artificially high.

"Stop being a perfectionist." He sighed. "Things can't always be perfect." She swallowed hard, and took a step back. Damn, she hated being sussed out.

"Stop talking like you know me." She said softly, attempting to inject venom into the words, but failing.

"Stop talking like I don't." He breathed, using his hand to cup her face gently, his thumb traced her lips. He leaned forward, so the freckles merged on her sandy skin, and he brushed his lips against hers. They were still for a moment, their body's connecting. Then the moment passed, and they pulled away, their eyes dropping to the floor, as Sawyer rubbed his arm slightly. They nodded at each other, and Kate leaned against the door frame, tucking strands of hair away from her face.

"Colleen was a crap kisser anyway." He grunted.

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**: ) I kinda neglected Charlie, Libby and Hurley, but I'll do another chap with them tomorrow : )**


	3. Letters

**Aw my god! Thank you so much for the reviews, they seriously made me squeal with happiness!!!! And SassyLostie, "Guys code" omg, that's perfect lol, and oops, I forgot his name :P : ) Ok, I'm not that happy with this chapter / I dunno there's just something… not right about it, I'm not great at fluff. Or angst. And they get mixed up a lot :) R&R please//hugs// ****Ooh, and suggestions are welcome :)**

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**Letters**

"Mm…" She breathed, avoiding gaze with him, as he rubbed his arm awkwardly.

"Don't go flatterin' yerself, Freckles." He smirked. "I do that to all the girls." She shoved him lightly, and looked up at him again.

"You do, huh?"

"Mm.." He nodded, "You uh, wanna try it again to be sure-."

"Quit while your ahead." She smiled.

"I was serious…" He mumbled. She blushed slightly, and looked down at the floor, her lips still tingling from earlier, as his fingers brushed hers.

"You were huh?"

"You wanna stop stallin' and jus' kiss me?" He smirked, leaning forward again, only find himself falling forwards.

"Hey Jack!" Kate said brightly, leaping away from Sawyer and leaning against the door.

"Hey…" He said slowly, his eyes darting between the two. "I can do downstairs if your-."

"No, no its fine." Kate smiled, "I got something in my eye…"

"Yeah. Somethin'." Sawyer grunted, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall. Jack looked between them again, and stepped another step, moving towards Kate.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" She nodded, seeing Sawyer narrow his eyes.

"See ya later then." He snapped, stalking away downstairs, as Jack pulled Sawyer into the bathroom.

"What is it?" She asked, raking her fingers through her hair. "Cause if its about Way-."

"No, its about Ana." Kate froze and widened her eyes slightly, her hands fluttering about her stomach.

"Oh?"

"Yeah… earlier, she kind of… were just, y'know, I mean-."

"Once you tried forming actual sentences, you can come back and tell me." Kate chuckled stiffly.

"Sorry… she's kind of… mad. I think."

"Well no wonder, you kind of blew her off in front of everyone." She exclaimed. _God, boys are slow to catch on,_ she though, amused. "Never pull away, then deny it when people are watching."

"Ah…" He breathed, wincing slightly. "Was it that bad?"

"Uh… yes." Kate exclaimed, "Maybe you should leave it a bit and-."

"No, I don't want to, its too awkward. I really like her… but how should I-."

"Maybe you should leave it a bit, only cause…" Kate stammered, wondering why she was in such a fluster about this. "She's…"

"Kate, I really want to… how should I?" Sagging slightly, Kate avoided eye contact and took a breath. He was her friend! She wanted him to be happy! But why was she so damn jealous…

"Ok…" She sighed, pulling herself together. "Just take her to one side, and tell her exactly how you feel… but make sure you say sorry about earlier…"

"Are you gonna do the same with Sawyer?" He asked stiffly, looking at her properly.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You're talking about me blowing Ana out but… on the landing, he kind of…"

"Oh, that… it was just, nothing, it was y'know…" Jack raised his eyebrow, and Kate folded her arms.

"Once you tried forming actual sentences, you can come back and tell me." Jack chuckled, nudging Kate's arm.

"Maybe… I should… y'know. He does that to all the girls." Jack looked stunned for a moment, and Kate laughed. "He just kissed me…"

"Oh." He said, relief creeping into his features slightly. "Right… well maybe you should go an do the same with him… face it, you both fancy each other- and don't even try denying it!" He exclaimed, seeing her open her mouth defiantly.

"Hmph." She sighed, folding her arms and watching him again. "Ok… both of us should go and put somethin' right… right?"

"Yep…" He smiled. "Make sure he doesn't… don't let him hurt you." Kate looked up at him, slightly stiffly.

"He's one of my best friends… he wouldn't." He nodded, and opened the bathroom door, making his way downstairs. She stayed in the bathroom for a moment, struggling with herself. Ok, find Sawyer, apologise… She didn't want to end up like some of the other girls he'd gone out with, she didn't want to ruin the friendship she treasured so much. She yanked at her hair again, before straightening her clothes and making her way downstairs. Shannon and Sayid, were sitting on the sofa, their heads close together, their fingers laced together gently, causing Kate to smile. Her friend deserved someone nice, as Claire did, who was also looking very cosy with Charlie, sat on the opposite couch. Jack and Ana weren't in the room, but Kate had a feeling she had heard whispers coming from the porch, however she didn't stop to investigate and continued searching for Sawyer. When she eventually found him, he was in the kitchen, leaning against the side, drinking a can of beer. She frowned, knowing full well Claire didn't have any.

"You brought a can of beer to a sleepover?" She asked, amused. He looked over to her, attempting a smirk but failing.

"Whats it to yer?"

"Hmm…" She breathed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Well… I was thinking-."

"You come back for more, Freckles?" He asked, smirking, realising what she was bout to say. She smile fell from her face, and she scowled at him.

"You… you have to ruin, every single moment, don't you?" She snapped, folding her arms and staring out the window.

"You know it." He grinned, putting an arm round her shoulders. She tensed up slightly, as his fingers played with a strand of her hair. "You still need a haircut, Freckles…"

"Your gonna end up with no friends." Kate sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"That's the plan…" He breathed, resting his chin on her shoulder, making her flush slightly.

"Why can't you just… be serious?" She groaned, shrugged him off and moving a couple of centimetres away from him.

"I wouldn't get half as many girls if I was, Freckles. You know that." She sighed again, and turned round to face him, his grey blue eyes staring at her green ones.

"I mean it." She exclaimed, putting her hands either side of his shoulders. "I just want you to tell me, exactly how you feel, and then-." She was cut off, as he pressed his lips against hers again, their kiss deeper than before. "I…" She choked, pulling away and blinking. "You gotta stop doin' that…"

"Why? You know you love it." He breathed again, cupping her face in his hands, and kissing her again. Fireworks were going off inside her stomach, and she tried hard to mask the feelings from her face, as his hand toyed with her hair again. "And damn, Freckles… you taste like strawberries" He smirked, she looked at him ironically, and put her hands on her hips.

"You taste like beer." She smiled, her mouth still hanging open slightly.

"You look like Bambi doin' that." He smirked, shutting her mouth with his thumb, and tracing her cheek. She bit her lip slightly, earning another grin, and put her hand up to his face.

"What now?" She asked suspiciously, trying to check his eyes for any signs of laughter, cause if he was taking the piss…

"Well I was thinking-." He began, leaning forward again, but finding Kate's hands there again.

"Seriously." She breathed. "You gonna date me for twenty four hours, then chuck me?"

"I never said anythin' about datin', Freckles." She scowled at him, and batted his chest. "Ok… ok… how about we take it as it comes…" He tried, earning an eyebrow raise from Kate.

"Which magazine did you read that out of?" She smiled, looking away slightly.

"Playboy." He smirked, reaching down again and kissing her again. "I heard Ana and Jack getting' it on, outside."

"Mm?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Mm." He agreed, smiling slightly at her expression. "I'm guessin' its only a matter of time before they're official…"

"Mm…" She repeated, wondering why he was going on about it.

"I heard Jack say something about her hair, that's sounded really-." He was cut off this time, as she initiated the kiss and crushed his lips with hers. "… Yeah." He breathed, smiling at her. "Your better than Colleen."

* * *

She dug into her bag, and fished out the keys as they jangled at the bottom. The happiness earlier, had quickly worn off, and the usual stress of going home was playing on her mind. Unlocking the door, she walked into a minefield. Her eyes were wide as she assessed the damage that had been dealt this time, a mirror had actually been shattered, and lay on the floor in glittered shards, she could see the living room through the open door, and saw the cushions thrown around the room. 

"Ma?" She called nervously, shutting the door behind her and dropping her bag to the floor. "You home?"

"Katherine…?" Came a voice from the kitchen. She smiled in relief, at least she was talking normally.

"Yeah, Ma, its me!"

"Oh good, you need breakfast? Wayne's out." Kate punched the air, causing her mother to laugh dryly.

"Don't let him catch you doin' that." She smiled. Kate's eyes wandered to her mother's face, and assessed the damage, pleased to see there was nothing evidently wrong. "Hey, you got two letters."

"Mm?" Kate breathed, sitting down at the table.

"Yeah, one from your dad." She said stiffly. "And one from Tom." Kate's face brightened immediately and she practically ripped the letters from her hands. "Easy." She smiled.

"Sorry… kay, I'll be down later.." She smiled, getting up to walk upstairs.

"Ain't you gonna tell me how the sleepover went?" Diane began, rubbing her eyes slight as her daughter left the room, her face already buried in the first letter. "Your not, huh?" She sighed, the sadness in her gaze evident.

Kate took the letters upstairs, and flopped back on her bed, her nose buried in the blue writing paper;

_Dear Katie, _

_Sorry I've not written for a week or two, I've been busy. How was your birthday? Hope you liked your present, it took me ages to pick it out. Fifteen, huh? That's pretty old, can't believe how long its been! Hows things at home? Things here are boring. I've finally asked Rachel out-_

Kate's fingers crumpled the paper slightly, jealousy niggling at her insides.

_And she said yes! She's really great, I'm sure you two would get along great. Are you still coming down on the 15__th__? Hope so, I'm can't wait to see you! Sorry, Katie, I've got to go now, meeting Rachel. _

_Xx Tommy_

Kate sighed, and placed the letter on the bed. Just as things were sorted out with Sawyer, Tom's in her head again. She smiled non the less, and looked up at her calendar, where the fifteenth was marked out in glittery pen. There were several photo's on her beside table, of which she stroked with her fingertips, one of Tom and her when they were about seven, one of her, Sawyer, Jack and Claire, and one of her and her mother, she wondered whether she should take them to show Tom next week, he'd never seen her friends over there before.

"What does your dad say?" He mother called through the shut door, as Kate frowned again.

"No opened it yet." She replied curtly, opening the second letter and scanning it quickly.

_Dear Katie, _

_Hey darling, how are you? Only a week to go, before I get to see you! I know Tom's excited, he's been round three times now, making sure its definatly Thursday. Hows your mom and Wayne? They treating you good? Cause remember, honey, there's always a place here for you. I'm meeting you off the plane at 4 right? And the tickets are definatly sorted? I know this is a short letter, honey, but I'll be seeing your soon, _

_Bye Kiddo,_

_X Daddy_

She sighed again, and tucked the letter under her mattress, smiling at the ceiling. She clicked her CD player on, and let KT Tunstall blare out of her speakers, knowing it would send her mother into another frenzy at the volume, but clicking it up anyway.

"Turn it down, Kathrine!" Her mum yelled, banging on the door, regretting letting Kate get those locks installed. "Right now- no, not in ten minutes NOW!" Kate yelled into her pillow for a moment, before reluctantly clicking the volume down. They used to be so close… what the hell had happened? Oh… of course, Wayne had. He'd walked into her life four months ago, and it had never been the same.

"Turned down!" She yelled back, running her fingers through her hair and tying it up with a hair band.

"DIANE!" Came a yell from downstairs. She shuddered, and pulled herself up to listen at the door, _welcome home Wayne_, she thought bitterly, as the routine bangs sounded downstairs.

**Ok, I've checked this chapter twice, but if there are any mistakes, point 'em out, cause I re-wrote this chapter, and added little bits from the first bit, so some bits might not follow properly :)**


	4. Calm Before The Storm

**Ah! Yay! Reveiws are love! Ok, this is kind of a pointless chapter, because the next one was all ****bonboni's**** idea and I thought Kate deserved something nice with her friends before it :O Anyways, yeah, yesterdays was a tad confusin' and all over the place, I'm never gonna mix chapters again :P R&R Please: ) **

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* * *

Calm Before The Storm**

She looked over at Shannon ironically and shook her head.

"I'm not wearing that." She insisted, as the blonde held up a pair of denim hot pants. "No."

"Kate, you'll be wearing tights underneath them!" She laughed. "It'll look great!"

"Tights? Under hot pants?"

"Yes… its all the rage!" Claire looked just as dubious as Kate, and scratched her head slightly.

"Its winter, I'd freeze my-."

"Kate, live a little! Sawyer would like it-."

"Sawyer would like me to kiss you in front of him, it don't mean I'm gonna do it." Shannon's eyes widened and she blushed.

"Ok, ok… what about… these!" Claire smiled, brandishing a pair of blue skinny jeans, a pair that would incidentally look fabulous on her.

"I'm not wearing anything like that… you know what I like."

"Kate, your own clothes are… comfy… these are fashionable." Shannon pointed out, nudging Claire and smiling.

"Shannon, fashion used to be perms and neon prints." Her friend groaned, and put the jeans back, holding up a cream coloured smock top, hopefully. Kate assessed it, fingering the light pink lace, and looking at the size.

"Hmm… maybe…"

"Yes!" Shannon cried, punching the air, then fixing her hair. "Ok, in the cart-."

"Shannon, that top's twenty-."

"I'll pay." Kate didn't know whether to say thank you or feel slightly embarrassed, as the top was added to the cart.

"Right, I'm starving." Claire grinned, leading a rather reluctant Shannon, and a grateful Kate over to the café.

"No, we should finish getting our stuff-." Shannon tried, pulling away.

"Shannon, we've been here for an hour and a half!" Kate laughed, picking up a sandwich from the counter and looking towards her friend. "And you haven't eaten anything since breakfast. If you can call that chemical drink breakfast…" She sighed, digging in her pocket for change.

"Everything here is so unhealthy…" Shannon whined, picking at the crisps and candy bars scattered around the counter.

"Then eat a sandwich, there not." Claire pointed out, flinging a cheese salad towards her.

"Its got butter, and there's way too much cheese…"

"Oh for godsake Shannon, just eat it, your not gonna put on any weight." Kate said, perhaps a little insensitively as her friend's behaviour continually annoyed her.

"Hey." Came a voice from behind them. Kate shuddered, and turned round slowly hoping it was who she thought it was.

"Hey Ana." Shannon smiled, going up and giving her a quick hug.

"Sorry I'm late… I guessed you'd be here." She smiled, pulling at the sleeve of her top. Kate glared at Shannon and Claire, and crossed her arms. "Wanna go sit down them?"

"Yep, come on…" Claire smiled, gathering her lunch in her arms and pulling Kate and Ana over to the largest table they could find. The sat for a while making strained conversation, until Shannon reappeared, reading the back of a yoghurt drink.

"So what did you buy?" Ana asked, directing the question at the blonde.

"Uh, I got a pair of jeans, a top, new shoes, a bag. Claire got the prettiest pair of pink skinny jeans and a new winter coat, and Kate got a top…"

"Mm, cool-."

"So, Jack." Shannon grinned, leaning on her elbows and looking at Ana pressingly. "Tell. Us. Everything." Ana rolled her eyes, and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"There's nothing to tell…"

"You official yet?" Claire smiled, sipping her milkshake through a straw.

"Yeah… he was so… sweet about it. And normally, I don't do sweet… but this time… I kind of did."

"Clearly." Shannon grinned, pulling at the drink in her hand and undoing the lid. As the conversation grew in intimacy, Kate practically covered her ears, her mind wandering off. She hadn't told Claire or Shannon about Sawyer yet, and had planned to do so today, but she didn't want the moment ruined by Ana, who was still going red every time Jack's name was mentioned. Kate didn't want to know exactly what he said, exactly what he was wearing, and exactly how long the kissed for. It was boring, not to mention the nagging in the pit of her stomach as she imagined the two teens locked in a tight embrace. She surfaced from her daydream as Claire squealed something about Charlie, and Shannon began drooling over Sayid. She reached across the table and opened the cap of her water, debating whether excuse herself and go hang in the bathroom for a moment, when Ana turned her attentions.

"So you and Sawyer?" She asked, earning an interested look from Shannon.

"Mm?" She murmured, looking down at the table, aware her face was now red.

"Heard you two were making out at Claire's sleepover." Shannon looked scandalised, and glared playfully at Kate.

"You were, huh?"

"Kate!" Claire squealed, a smug smile on her face. "Charlie was right after all!"

"We n- … we were…" Kate groaned inwardly. _Dammit._ They'd got her cornered. "It was only a couple of times… I was waiting until we talked a bit more."

"Oh my god! Are you dating him, properly?" Claire gasped, clasping her hands together in excitement.

"Well… kind of." She sighed. "I'm not really sure."

"Sawyer." Shannon sighed. "You can't just let him decide, you've gotta corner him and force it out of him." Kate looked over at Shannon, slightly horrified.

"I mean how he feels about you…" She exclaimed, blushing deeply as Ana laughed loudly.

"And I will… its just. I don't wanna rock the boat."

"Aww, your in love!"

"Oh be quite." Kate snapped, not helping the smile that broke over her face anyway. "Anyway… Charlie? Sayid?… Jack." She said eventually. "You three can talk." Claire rolled her eyes and took another crisp out the bag, as Kate grinned, her fingers caressing the bottle in her hand.

"Yeah, but… Sawyer!" Shannon laughed, mocking a faint.

"What? Why do you keep doing that face?" Kate mocked the expression she had pulled, causing Shannon to frown.

"I do not look like that…" She breathed, patting her hair in place, as Kate shook her head.

"Is that all you think about?" Chuckling, as Claire and Ana nodded.

* * *

Kate pulled herself up from the sofa, and threw a cushion over at Claire, who caught it swiftly and threw it to Ana. She was sitting beside Charlie, who was sitting beside Hurley, who were both engrossed in their chocolate ice-cream. 

"Where's Shannon?" Kate sighed, leaning back and flicking through the TV channels again.

"Mm… I don't know." She breathed. "How longs she been?"

"Ten minutes."

"Maybe she's sick?" Ana offered, taking another bite of the cold pizza that lay in the box, and casting a disdainful glance at Charlie. "Should I go check?"

"Nah… leave her…"

"Dudes, Exposé!" Hurley grinned, using what appeared to be the TV times as a guide.

"Oh no, mate that's rubbish… its just about some bloody conman who happens to kill people-."

"Dude, have you even watched it? If you have, you would, like, totally know the Cobra is actually an underworld…" Claire gave Kate a quizzical look, pulling her legs underneath her and resting a cushion between her legs. "Although, I'm pretty sure its gonna be the owner of the joint seeing as-."

"Ok, ok!" Charlie exclaimed. "Just put the bloody thing on…" Kate flicked over and frowned as a skinny blonde began pole dancing in a bikini.

"Actually… I will go check for Shannon…"

"Ok, well, I'll tell you what happens." Charlie said sarcastically, although keeping one eye on the screen as the girl threw her hat into the audience. Kate stood up, brushing the fluff from her jeans and making her way out the door.

"Shan?" She called, creeping through she massive hall and starting up the stairs. She knew for a fact that Shannon never used the downstairs bathroom, because Sabrina chose the colours. She was the most stubborn girl Kate knew, because ever since she swore she'd never use it two years ago, she hadn't. She curled her toes in the fluffy carpet letting her hand run up the banister in a grand fashion, she smiled to herself as visions of ball dresses floated through her mind. "Shannon?" She called again, walking down the landing and standing outside the bathroom door. "You ok?" There was silence from within, so Kate knocked. "Shan?"

"M'fine." She called, her voice hoarse and quiet, causing Kate to frown.

"Shannon, open the door… you sound sick."

"I'm fine." She smiled brightly, swinging open the door and waltzing out, pushing Kate towards the stairs. "C'mon."

"Shannon, your white as a sheet… have you been sick?" She shook her head, and ushered her forward.

"Nope… just a bit tired." Kate's forehead creased and she put a hand out to Shannon's arm.

"You would… you'd tell me if there was anything-."

"NO! THEY SHOT HER!" Came Hurley's shocked yell from downstairs. "DUDE!" Kate looked back up at Shannon, and saw that her friend's composure had changed. There was no trying to talk to her now her eyes had glassed over.

"What you looking at?" She asked, brushing her hair with her fingers. "My hair-?"

"No." Kate said softly. "No your hair's fine." Shannon smiled, and pulled at Kate's hand.

"Sorry about the whole Ana thing…"

"Yeah, well… could have told me." She smiled brightly, "But it doesn't matter…"

"NO!" Came another yell from the living room. "HIM!" Kate chuckled to herself and looked up at Shannon.

"I think we'd better go in there… Hurley's hyperventilating." Shannon laughed and linked arms with Kate, leading the way back into the living room.

"They shot her!" Hurley yelped, gripping onto Charlie's shoulder. "They shot Corvette!"

**:) There shall be Skate-ness in the next one :)**


	5. Fragile

**Yay//hugs// reviews make me so happy :) Ok, again this is bonboni's idea , as is the beginning of the next chapter :) SassyLostie; I think in the Exposé episode, they said the name Corvette, or at least what sounded like it :P I never heard of it before either, I have got a friend called Shiraz though… lol :P**

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**Fragile**

She woke up and swore, catching sight of the clock. Wayne was out, her mother was away at a friends, and she was wasting this precious time sleeping! She jumped out of bed, and ran down the stairs her mobile already glued to her ear. It rang for several minutes, before Sawyer picked up, his voice riddled with sleep.

"S'matter?" He slurred, coughing down the receiver.

"Its me."

"Mmm, hey Freckles. Why you ringin' so early?" He grinned sleepily, causing the couch to groan down the phone.

"Its half two." She smiled. "I was wondering if I could come round?" She entwined her fingers with the telephone cord and leaned against the wall.

"Hell yeah." He grinned, "What time?"

"Well… I was thinking now." She chuckled.

"Oh, right… yeah sure yer can. Jus' gimme a minute to get dressed… you want me to pick yer up?"

"Nah, I can walk." She ginned, "See you later."

"See you, Freckles." She placed the phone back in the cradle and ran back upstairs to get dressed.

Half an hour later, she was knocking at Sawyer's front door, fidgeting with her backpack. He opened the door at long last, his blonde hair mussed up, dressed only in his boxers. She blushed slightly as he pulled her forwards, planting kisses on her face his hands playing with her hair.

"Mm… hey…" She smiled sheepishly, as he shut the door behind her and grinned.

"Hey yerself. Nice shirt." He smirked, as she looked down at her scruffy chequered blouse,

"Nice? Its hideous. I only wore it cause I was half asleep, and everything else is dirty really…" He didn't seem to be taking it into account and moved forward again. Kate assumed he was going to kiss her and raised her face up to him, but found his arms wrapping round her instead, his hands didn't wander anywhere, and stayed warm and firm on her back, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Hmm, your hair smells like-."

"Strawberries?" She smiled, letting herself melt into his arms in a way she'd never done before.

"Spot on, Freckles." He grinned. "What about me?"

"Sleep." She said automatically, her fingers playing with his hair. "And… uh, you still taste like beer."

"Mm…" He breathed. "Figures." He pulled away from her slightly, and took hold of her hand ushering her to the living room. She wrinkled her nose slightly, as he had clearly slept on the sofa. His duvet was twisted on the couch, a pillow lay on the floor, several empty beer cans were on the table, as well as a musty, sweaty, sleepy smell that lingered in the air. He flopped back on the sofa, and she followed, letting him put his arm round her, and cosy up together. "You like my new room?" He grinned, waving his arm round the mess.

"Yeah… do they mind?" She asked, looking across at a picture of Sawyer's foster parents.

"Nope. Not been here in three days." He grinned, taking a swig of another can of beer, he seemed to have conjured up out of nowhere. Kate saw the sparkle in his eyes dampen slightly, and she put her arm round him.

"… You could always report them… they shouldn't leave you alone-."

"Nah." He said quickly. "I like it, get time on my own." Kate nodded, and rested her head on his shoulder, his blonde hair flopping into her eyes. "With you…" He breathed, his breath tickling her ear. She smiled against him, and shut her eyes. How was it possible to go from Friend to… this.

"Mm, your amazing…" He raised an eyebrow and pulled away, looking at her. She blushed, but was happy to feel his hands on her face again.

"I thought you said that after we screw-."

"Don't ruin the moment." She warned, letting his tongue brush against her lips as he deepen the kiss, his hands placed against his back, his fingers going down to rest on her belt. She stiffened slightly, almost waiting for him to begin unbuckling it, but much to her relief he didn't, instead left his hands comfortably on her hips. Kate let him trail kisses down her neck and back again, his hands pulling gently through her hair, as she did the same with him.

"You want anything to drink?" He said slightly breathlessly, his nose nuzzling hers. "Soda… blackcurrant… beer?"

"I'm fine." She smiled, nudging his knee with hers as

"Mm, your so hot." He growled, reaching round and wrapping his arms round her waist, forcing her onto the sofa. Kate laughed at his comment, and rolled her eyes.

"Hot? Not beautiful or pretty?"

"Mm, all of them." He smirked, his chin fitting in her collarbone, their lips touching. "What do you think about Moon Beam and Lardo getting together-."

"Sawyer!" She scolded. "_Libby_ and_ Hurley_ are very sweet together… he blushed every time he saw her."

"Hmm." Sawyer chuckled. "_You_ blushed everytime you saw _me_."

"I never!" Kate exclaimed defiantly, making a mental note to check her face next time.

"Yeah you did." He grinned, putting a thumb on her cheek. "Right there." Kate smiled against his cheek, and they were still for a moment, their arms wrapped tightly round each other. "You want somethin' to eat?" He asked softly, pulling himself off the sofa and padding out into the kitchen. "We've got… uh… cereal…but no milk, bread, but no margarine… we've got Marshmallow Fluff if you want that?" Kate snickered to herself and got off the couch, following Sawyer.

"Uh huh." She breathed, seeing him unscrew the lid and hold it out to her. She waited for him to pass her a spoon, and when he didn't stuck her finger in instead.

"You uh… wanna go upstairs?" He smirked, not able to hide the slight nervousness in his eyes, as he watched her carefully. She tensed up completely, and felt a swooping sensation in her stomach. Was this it? Was she gonna deny him sex, and then he dump her? She shook her head slowly, looking down at the ground, she kept the thin smile on her face, but could feel her stomach knotting already. "Never mind… always next time." His smile was comforting as she turned away slightly, making to wash her hands under the tap, but he caught her arm first and buried her into another hug. "Were you goin'?" He grinned, pulling her over to the living room and pushing her back down on the couch. She waited for him to try it on again, but found him lying down next to her, one arm draping itself over her hip, as he flicked on the TV controller. The second the music from the programme started playing however, Kate shrieked slightly and whacked Sawyer's arm.

"Playboy channel?" She yelped, "Ew! Turn it off…" She couldn't tell whether he was grinning at the TV screen of her, but either way he flicked over. "Its not physically possible for any girl to do that!" She hissed. "So don't get your hopes up."

"Mm, hard not to." He smirked, looking her up and down. She flicked his nose, and turned round, her back against his chest, facing the TV screen, as his arms wrapped round her again, his chin resting on her shoulder.

* * *

"Sorry ta kick yer out like this, Freckles." He sighed, looking outside dubiously, as the icy rain pounded the ground. 

"No problem." She smiled, wishing she'd brought a jacket instead of just a hoodie top. "I'll see you on Wednesday, right?"

"Maybe." He smirked, leaning down and kissing her softly. "Yeah. Wednesday." She smiled, and opened his door, grimacing slightly as the rain turned into sleet.

"Bye." She smiled, pulling away from his grasp and linking her fingers with his. She hurried out into the freezing rain, her mouth forming an 'O' as she realised just how cold it was. She felt her way in the dark carefully, because while Sawyer's garden wasn't big, it was filled with junk and she was bound to trip over something. After successfully manoeuvring her way round three bushes and four pieces of rubble, she got onto the street, were the freezing rain sent beams of orange light, scattering onto the road, and the rush of the occasional cars kept her company. She looked either way down the road, and set off along the park outskirts, her fingers touching the cold painted green rails, as her feet tripped along the pavement. Her hair was plastered to her face by the time she got to the end of the road, and her 'waterproof' jacket seemed to have failed her completely, but she didn't mind that much, it just took her mind off the prospect of getting back to a house alone with Wayne. There were raucous shouts from the end of the street, causing Kate to look up. Several middle aged men were teetering their way out of the nearest pub, all of them horrendously drunk. It took her a moment to realise why one of the men were staring at her, although when she did she half wanted to turn and run in the other direction.

"Katie!" Wayne called, staggering towards her, as she stood rooted to the spot. Wayne normal was bad, but Wayne drunk was ten times worse. "Hey, Katie!"

"Mm…" She breathed, taking a step back as his hand reached out and brushed her cheek roughly. Kate flinched, as he continued down her neck, his fingers brushing her shoulder.

"What are you doin' out here, darlin'?"

"Going back from Shannon's." She lied, "Move…" Dodging out the way, she tried to walk past him, but his arm was already gripped round hers.

"Don't you dare talk like that to me." He scowled, pressing his face up against hers, as she squirmed away.

"Please let go." She said serenely, pulling her hand back from him.

"Steady on, girl." He sneered, staggering more as he wrapped an arm round her shoulders, pulling her towards him. "Yer goin' away nex' week… I gotta spend some quality time with yer." There were jeers from the men watching, and Kate felt her stomach turn.

"Get off!" She growled, yanking herself away more forcefully, feeling her feet slipping under the wet ground.

"No, no… stop doin' that." He snarled, as she tried to twist away. She yelped as her arm was pulled up her back, still trying to bring her knee up to separate them. "I said stop it!" He growled, pulling her backwards. For a moment she thought he was pulling her over to the pub, but realised he was actually dragging her towards the park. That scared her more than anything else, because she didn't want to be anywhere on her own with him. "Calm down, Katie…." He growled.

"Get off!" She yelped, tears beginning to form in her eyes out of pure desperation. "GET OFF!" He smacked a hand over her mouth, his hands still pulling her backwards. There was a dull crack, and she screamed as her twisted arm was pulled harder. "STOP IT!" In the end, Wayne seemed to loose grip on her, and she scrambled to her feet, soaked through and muddy, backing away as he moved forward. One of the men that had been watching came forward, and put an arm round Kate's shoulder looking at Wayne in horror.

"You alright, love?" He asked. He was only being friendly, but she leaped away, cradling her arm to her chest. Her head was spinning, and it took her a moment before she realised she'd hit it on the railings. "Calm down, we're gonna ring an ambulance… and the police." He muttered, casting a dirty look at Wayne, who was grinning slightly. Her head was still spinning, and she didn't really hear what they said, she just wanted to get away from him.

"There's no point. I'm her father I can do what I want." Wayne sneered, making a move to grab her again. The man in front of her put his arm out to shield her, but Kate wasn't focused on that.

"Your NOT my dad!" She yelped, feeling comforted once again as she said it. I was just something that kept her warm, knowing that when her mother finally did get rid of him he'd be out their lives and have no ties to her, but his reaction was different than what she expected. He sneered and laughed at her, moving back slightly.

"Tha's what you think."

**Poor Kate :( ****Oh and, I'm not American, but a while ago, my friend brought me some stuff (she lives in the states) and one of them was Raspberry Marshmallow Stuff. I fell in love :D And had to put it in the story. Somewhere. Anywhere :D Oh that 'That's what you think' line is bad :P I could have done it better, sorry :P**


	6. Its All My Fault

**:D Smiles at reviewers Ok, credit to ****bonboni**** again, cause its her idea beams ****SassyLostie****; /nods/ I know :( I'm gonna give Kate a break from Wayne soon, and the yeah. I swear its mixing those chapters the other day… my excuse for everything now :P ****kt2785**** thank you/Smiles:D ****Frostpaw:**** Aw thanks :D Charlie's great isn't he :P When I do more of the group stuff I'll do more Charlie :D **

**PS. Don't like this chapter, the beginnings ok-ish, but I rushed the end, homework eh? I'll do a more cheerful, better written one tomorrow :P R&R please :D //hugs//**

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Its All My Fault**

Her head snapped up.

"What?" She hissed, her green eyes searching in his drunken ones. He lurched forward again, but the man in front of her pushed him away._ He's just drunk._ She breathed, taking another step back and leaning slightly against the railings, her head spinning dangerously.

"Its ok, love, just breathe we'll ring-." She backed away further from whoever it was trying to help her. "No, I'm not gonna hurt you-." She could see Wayne staggering away through the trees, but it didn't put her at ease, and she turned on her heel, trying to run in a straight line as best as possible, although her feet were tripping underneath her. Whoever the man was, called her for a minute, but seemed to give up, as she bolted away from the pub and back down to the park. It was more shock than pain, that caused the tears to run down her face. In the few seconds he had hold of her, she truly had no idea what he was about to do, and that scared her more than anything. Her feet pounded the street, and she pushed herself harder, desperate to get away from that road. The cars that had kept her company earlier scared her to death now, the noise causing her headache to worsen. Once she had got a safe distance from the park, she let herself collapse on someone's wall, her heart thudding violently in her chest. She put her head in her hands, and waited for a moment, hoping the dizziness would subside soon. Snaking her hands round her neck, she pulled them back, the tears rolling down her face faster, until she had no option but to bury her head in her hands, and let the sobs overtake her, as the rain crashed overhead, and the streetlight flickered above her. She couldn't get hold of Shannon after her phone broke, she was pretty sure Claire wouldn't be able to do anything… she couldn't ring Sawyer. That wasn't even an option. He'd _explode_. And besides, she had to much dignity to go there, sopping wet, muddy and bloody. She was almost ashamed of herself. How did she not see that coming? She should have just walked away the second she clapped eyes on him, and kept herself to herself. This was all her fault, so she couldn't burden Sawyer with it. She almost clapped a hand to her head the second she thought that. It was her fault? Since when had she thought that? God, living with Wayne was messing up her head alright… Gripping the ledge she was on with both hands, she used her good arm to wipe at her face. It was no big deal… she could go to Jacks… although his parents would be there, and she couldn't risk that. She tried Shannon once again, leaving a tearful and choked message on her answering machine, about being a bit lonely, but there was no reply, and it wasn't until Kate looked down at her watch and realised it was midnight, that she forced herself up, one arm cradled across her chest, the other balled into a fist, and attempted to take a step away from the wall. Her surge of energy to get here in the first place had well and truly gone, and she found herself being forced to sit back down. Reluctantly, she pulled her mobile phone from her pocket, and punched in his number with shaking fingers. She held it to her ear, and prayed, actually _prayed_ that he would answer. The phone rang for several moments, before there was a click and a breathless Sawyer answered.

"Hello?"

"Sawyer…" She breathed, trying to keep the tears from her voice, but failing.

"S'me, Freckles, whats up?" He clearly hadn't heard, because she heard the sofa groan as he laid down.

"Can you come pick me up?" She squeaked, trying to shift positions but stopping.

"… Yeah… whats wrong?" He said slowly, the fear evident in his tone. "Freckles?"

"Please." She breathed. "I'm outside number 4 Terrace House…"

"Why ain't you home?" He asked. "Freckles, whats he done?"

"Please." She said again, not wanting to go into details over the phone.

"Course… I'll be there in a couple minutes, kay?"

"Mm." She breathed, clicking the phone off quickly and pocketing it, attempting to raise herself off the floor and failing. He was true to his words, and it was only five or six minutes later, when the car pulled up outside, causing her to raise her head off her knees. At first he looked around, but spotting her on the floor practically ran forward and wrapped his arms round her, causing her to yelp in pain, as he crushed her arm. He leapt back, apologising profusely and trying to lift her up. "I can stand up!" She exclaimed, gripping onto his shoulder hard and indeed managing to.

"Maybe, but yer can't walk."

"I ran all the way from the park to here." She said defiantly. Sawyer stared at her in disbelief.

"Stop trying to be so-."

"Don't even say it." She groaned, allowing him to snake a hand round her waist and pull her towards the car, not wanting to hear him say the word Perfectionist again. She heard him moan slightly, as he saw the blood staining her hoodie, and tried to pat her hair out of her eyes.

"Get in the car, Freckles…" He grunted. She was surprised he wasn't bombarding her with questions, but saw with an almost sinking feeling, that his face was set. This was it… he was gonna explode any minute now, and probably go get beaten up by Wayne. She reached across with her good arm, and tried to click the seatbelt round her, only to find her stomach and ribs too painful. He got in the drivers seat, and gripped onto the steering wheel in a vice like grip, his knuckles going white. Kate was frightened for a moment, did he think the same? Did he think it was her fault? "Put ya seatbelt on." He instructed. Kate's face flushed slightly, and she found herself reaching across again, despite her earlier attempts, she didn't want to say how much it hurt so did it anyways, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes. She was still shaking even now, even though she was trying to force herself to calm down, even though her breath was coming in short, sharp gasps. "Where else'd he hurt you?" He muttered, his voice low and threatening, making her wince. She shook her head, and just pointed to her arm, afraid to open her mouth. "Nowhere else? Nowhere at all?" She shook her head again, and stared ahead. "Why the hell are ya lying, Freckles? You got blood down yer back…" She shut her eyes, and rubbed her shoulder slightly, aching from his grip. He stared again down the road, as she tried to force herself to breath properly, even though it was clear she was failing. She jumped violently, as he placed a hand on her shoulder, then closed her eyes, as he squeezed it slightly. "Breathe properly." He sighed. She tried to force air down her throat, but it was no good and had to let it out again, her chest tightening. She looked across at him, but he was still staring ahead at the road. This was a mistake. She shouldn't have rung him, he was mad at her…. He didn't look up as the car shuddered to a halt, instead put a finger to his temple, like he had a headache.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, closing her eyes before the tears could fall. He looked up at her, his almost unbelieving.

"What you got to be sorry…?" He trailed of slightly, and closed his eyes along with her. "Don't you ever say that." He said, his voice choked. "It is _not_ your fault." She nodded, and put her good arm up to shield her face.

"I was stupid…" She whispered. "I got in the way, and I should have just… I should have gone back. I'm stupid…"

"Your not." He insisted. "He's screwed with your head, Freckles… you are _not_ stupid, and this is not your fault."

"I couldn't stop him! I was too dumb to even get away."

"Oh for godsake, Kate…" He sighed. "Now you are being stupid, he's about five times bigger than you, stronger… and drunk I'm guessin'." She looked up, thoroughly miserable clearly not believing him.

"I thought you thought it was my fault… I thought you were mad at me." He scoffed slightly, then realised it was a mistake as her eyes filled up with tears again. God he wasn't good at this, he'd never had to deal with anyone, let alone a girl, who was this distraught and fragile.

"Sorry…" He said quickly. "Look… I wasn't mad, it was just… I was that far-." He hissed, holding up his thumb and finger. "To goin' back round and makin' him sorry." Kate looked down slightly, her arm still throbbing painfully. "I didn't know what ta say… you jus'…" She turned her head slightly, and looked at him properly. His eyes were shining, and his hand was gripped onto hers.

"I just thought you were angry." He shut his eyes, cursing himself.

"Never. Its ain't your fault. Its his." He leant forward to kiss her, but found her pulling away.

"Don't." She whispered, one arm still pulled round her waist. He nodded slightly sadly, and reached across to prod her arm. She pulled away again, looking at him like he'd just hit her or something.

"I just got to make sure its not broken…" He said gently, her gaze softened slightly, but she turned away, resting her chin on her knuckles. "Where else'd he hurt you?" He asked again, pushing the hair out of her eyes and unbuckling her seatbelt. She looked a little dazed, and shook her head, signalling to her arm again. "We're really gonna hafta talk about this lyin' Freckles." He sighed. "I told you I saw the blood on your back…come here." She pulled away again, and shook her head, pushing him away slightly. "You think… maybe later on, we should take you to casualty?" He tried, treading softly. "Only to make sure yer ok… cause yer kinda zonin' out on me."

"I'm fine." She said again, staring, slightly blankly ahead.

"No, Freckles, your not…your arms either broken, ors got one hell of a sprain… I don't know where that blood's come from, but you won't let me touch ya so I can't tell… I'm not expectin' you to show me yer stomach, even though I'm guessin' its hurting seein' as yer grippin it like that-… woah, woah open the door." He said suddenly, seeing her put a hand to her mouth. "Don't throw up in the car." Kate looked up at him confused, and shook her head. "Oh…" He said, smirked slightly. She smiled back, and put a hand out to touch his knee.

"He said something…" She mumbled. He looked across, and narrowed his eyes.

"What?"

"I said that he wasn't my dad… and he said, that's what I thought…"

"Well… he was just drunk, right?" He said. "Forget it. Face it, Freckles, you look jus' like ya dad." Kate smiled nervously.

"Yeah… yeah. Its nothing, just arguing…" She sighed, he lifted his arm and draped it over her shoulder, wincing as her stomach prodded the control stick, and she hissed.

"Sorry…" He began. "Look… why don't we go in?… And then, maybe take a little trip ta hospital, yeah?"

"Yeah…" She sighed, looking away to hide the tears in her eyes.

**Nods I can't get that line between not doin' his accent enough, and then using it too much, and I seriously have to like look back at episode's to remember things :P I wanted to put the whole 'Its my fault' thing in it, cause he's bound to have messed with her head :(**


	7. Pain Pills

**Aw thank you soo much for the reviews!! I really didn't like that chapter, but I guess you did :D (smiles) Ok. More Skate fluff! Ok. I hope I toned his accent thing down a little bit :P I wanna give Kate a break, so she's going to Iowa soon. With Tom :D **

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Persuading the doctors that Kate had fallen over was difficult. Persuading them not to ring her mother was nearly impossible, but by morning, they were both exhausted and on their way back, both completely silent as Sawyer tried his best not to lead them off the road. The painkillers handed over to Kate were clearly working, because she was completely out of it by the time he actually got her into the car.

"And next time you throw up." He added, pointing to his crumpled jacket on the backseat. "You can at least warn me."

"Mm…" She breathed, her eyes closed facing towards him.

"And another thing." He continued. "Those nurses were giving me the evil eye the whole time we were there, what did you say to them?"

"Mm…"

"Because which ever one came out the room with the black eye, glared at me like I was the one who did it… you did tell 'em it wasn't me?"

"Mm…"

"Freckles?" He snapped, nudging her shoulder with his elbow. "You listening?"

"Mm…" He grunted and sped up a little, watching the streetlights flit by with speed. Kate mumbled something and turned her face round further, so it was leaning on her shoulder.

"Why'd you hit that nurse anyways?" He asked again, genuinely curious, grinning at the memory of the bottle-blonde woman staggering out the room, her hands clutching at her face.

"I forgot…" She mumbled, her arm, now in a cast cradled against her chest. Sawyer chuckled, and rolled his eyes.

"Sure ya did." He grinned. "Hey, we're here… Freckles. Freckles? Wake up…" He groaned, and rolled his eyes again, swinging open his car door and making her way over to her side. "Come on then." He smiled, more to himself than her. "Freckles, help me here." He exclaimed, putting on arm under her knees and the other on her neck. "There ya go…" He pulled her out, careful not to nudge her arm, but holding her firm enough to lift her. Slamming the door behind her, he made his way with some difficulty over to the porch, leaning against the doorframe to support her weight, while digging in his pocket for the keys. "Freckles yer really not helpin'." He sighed, swinging the door open and carrying her through to the sofa. He watched her for a moment, considering taking her hoodie top off but thinking better of it, she didn't need another reason to panic. "Those pills are doin' good huh?"

"Mm…" She mumbled, turning onto her side, her broke arm laying at a safe distance from her body. "I feel sick…" She groaned suddenly. Having had previous experience with her throwing up, and not wanting anymore he quickly shoved her a plastic bag, looking away with a grimace as she made use of it.

"Thanks for telling me." He smiled gently, tucking the hair behind her ears. "You still owe me a new shirt."

"Ha, ha." She said dryly. Gagging slightly, and leaning back on the sofa, she let the plastic bag dangle from her fingers.

"You need to go to sleep now, Freckles." He sighed, pulling a blanket from the floor up and shaking the dust off it.

"No… I don't."

"Yeah you do, they said you were in _shock_." He said deliberately.

"_Mild_ shock." She corrected, running her fingers through her hair and shutting her eyes.

"Same thing." He grinned. He went to kiss her again, but found her pulling back once more.

"Don't." She said again, pulling her knees up to her chest slightly.

"Ok… can I put my arm round ya?" He asked softly. "We don't hafta do anythin'…" She looked up at him and nodded.

"Kay." He grinned in relief, and put an arm round her shoulders, though to his dismay realised she was completely tense. He half wanted to tighten his grip on her to show her he wasn't going to hurt her, but decided against it, and removed his arm.

"Just relax, Freckles… he can't get you here y'know."

"I know." She breathed, nodding slowly and looking at him again. "Thank you."

"For what?" He grinned, "If you go all mushy on me, I'll hafta spank ya." Kate groaned in annoyance and leant forward, her face digging into the pillow. She muttered some curse word that Sawyer could make out properly, although the second word was 'off' and he was pretty sure the first one sounded like 'duck'. He grinned again, chuckling slightly. "But… you need to take them clothes off." He saw Kate's head snap up, and glare at him slightly. "No, not like that." He smiled. "Your filthy." She looked down at herself and groaned as she realised he was right. She struggled with her jacket for a moment, before pulling it off and throwing it to the bottom of the sofa, leaving Sawyer looking slightly amused.

"What?" She snapped.

"Your prone ta mood swings aren't ya?" He smirked, covering her with the dusty blanket.

"Shut up." She hissed, he folded his arms and gave her a 'I told you so' before sitting back and watching her for a moment. "What are you doin'?"

"… Seein' how hot you are when yer moody." He grinned, but it faltered and looked down. "I was scared y'know."

"Why?" She asked, still a little dazed.

"When I saw you. All small and… he broke your arm, Freckles… that's bad."

"That's life." She sighed, not wanting to start another argument. "Don't!" She exclaimed before he could start. "Just…just let me go to sleep yeah?" He nodded, taking the plastic bag from her fingers and throwing it in the kitchen bin. By the time he walked back to the living room, she was already breathing heavily, her eyes fluttering shut, and her arms going round to hug herself.

"I love you Freckles." He smiled, pulling the blanket further over her shoulders and grinning as she crinkled her nose.

* * *

She opened her eyes, frowning for a moment as she wondered where she was. She noted something heavy on her left arm, but didn't think anything of it, until she actually moved it, and pain shot through her entire shoulder. She groaned and hissed slightly, closing her eyes in annoyance as she remembered the night before. She sat up, widening her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up, as her good hand groped for the sofa to push on.

"Sawyer?" She mumbled, looking round the room. The clock caught her eye on the mantle piece, and she saw with a dull surprise it was half twelve.

"I see yer awake." Sawyer smirked, the door opening with a soft creak. "And looking- woah, Freckles you look rough." He said honestly, cocking his head to one side as though to see if she looked better from the side. "You should have some more of those pill things."

"Morning. And no way, I can hardly remember yesterday." She said, narrowing her eyes.

"Unfortunately I can." He grinned, relishing in her discomfort. "You threw up on me, the doctor and my car, you punched one of the nurses and tried to make out with one of the shrinks." Kate stared at him in horror until he took pity. "Ok, ok… I made the last one up. But the rest were true, and I have to admit you throw good punches."

"I didn't." She gasped. "Why?"

"Beats me, they made me wait outside for a couple minutes, next thing I know she comes staggered out, blood down her-."

"Blood?" She gaped, her eyes wide.

"Oh yeah. It was great… the nurses were pretty fit too… the one's you didn't puke on or hit."

"Oh god…" Kate groaned, putting a hand to her head. "I didn't realise I was doing it…"

"I guessed." He grinned. "You hungry?" She shrugged, and then nodded, raking her hair back. "C'mon then, Freckles."

"What've you got?" She grinned, taking a step forward and linking arms with him.

"Hmm." He smirked, faux pondering. "Toast, cereal, fruit, milk, or lunch."

"Mm… cereal?"

"Right on, Freckles." He grinned, leading her into the kitchen and reaching for the cereal. Ten minutes later, the two of them were eating breakfast, sharing sly glances and listening to the radio, the rain had ceased overnight, but now lay frosty on the grass, causing the birds that landed to fly off almost immediately. "Its kinda romantic, huh?" He grinned, casting her a suggestive glance, not being serious, but trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah…" She smiled, not completely getting his joke and looking slightly nervous again.

"Kidding, Freckles… jeez, lighten up, eh?" He grinned, at the same time feeling slightly disappointed in her subdued attitude. "You done?" He smiled, pulling the empty bowl over to him and stacking it on top of his. "So, what movie do you fancy renting?"

"…I don't mind." She smiled, her gaze shifted down to the table.

"Freckles?… Movie?" He grinned, mocking a pout. "Pick, please, still the threat of spanking…" He warned. She rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips.

"Hmm… Bridget Jones' Diary?" Sawyer groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Torture me why dontcha?" Kate nodded, and reached out for his hand.

"I meant it. Thank you…" She mumbled. "But…" She said seriously, her eyes dark, making Sawyer look worried for a moment. "I'm sorry…" Her eyes darkened further. "We are going to have to watch Bridget Jones." He almost laughed, not at the joke but purely out of relief. He had honestly though something was wrong.

"Your learnin' Freckles." He grinned, standing up and placing the bowls in the sink. "But I'm better."

"Yeah." She smiled. He looked again across at her, and almost cried out in _physical_ pain at the look in her eyes. She was completely _broken_. And he was going to get Wayne. Just no yet.

"Come on then, you go get somethin' to wear, and I'll go buy us some necessities." Kate smiled and stood up shakily, making her way over to the living room, leaving Sawyer running his fingers through his hair and pulling on a jacket. "I'll be back in twenty minutes ok, Freckles?" In the other room Kate closed her eyes, dread creeping over her.

"Yes." She choked, making it sound like she coughed rather than cried. She knew Wayne didn't know where Sawyer lived, she knew she was safe. But there was still something in her head that pounded her over and over again. He was so frightening… so violent.

"You sure?" He asked again, popping his head round the door in a comic manner, making Kate truly laugh. "I can stay…?"

"Nope." She smiled falsely. "Its fine." There was no way she was going to let him know how stupid she was being…

"…You absolutely sure?"

"Absolutely." She smiled.

"Your not… you can't even be left on yer own… he's screwed you up!" He growled, throwing his jacket down on the couch and sitting heavily next to her.

"Sorry-."

"Don't." He snapped. "Its him… Freckles." He sighed, putting an arm round her and withdrawing it again as she tensed up. "Just… just let me hold you for a minute Freckles. Just put my arm round…" He sighed. "If were weren't one hundred percent sure about… us I wouldn't mind."

"No, no its not…" She sighed. "Its just… I'm a bit, shaky about it all…"

"Right…" He clearly didn't believe her, and moved to the side slightly until his arm stopped touching hers.

"You don't have to…" She smiled, leaning closer to him and resting against his shoulder. She could almost hear him grin, and smiled herself as he put an arm round her, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"How about… me stayin' here, and renting a film off Demand on the TV?" Kate grinned at him and nodded, "And I think I got some ice-cream in the freezer… and maybe some marshmallow fluff?"

"Yeah…"She smiled "That'll be nice." She let him pull her slightly closer, and smiled as his hair tickled her nose. "When's Mark and Ellie back?" She mumbled, not particularly wanting to be present when his foster parents arrived back, and hoping it wasn't going to be in the near future.

"Dunno, heard from 'em five days ago, said they were gonna be a couple weeks… so, I get more time with you."

"My mums back next week… on Thursday, and then on Saturday… oh dammit, I forgot. I'm going to Iowa." Sawyer raised an eyebrow, and looked at her arm pointedly.

"You don't think it's a bit… soon?"

"No. I wanna see my dad." She smiled, looking evidently happier, as she nuzzled his nose with hers. Sawyer was clearly not happy with her decision, but didn't press further, instead tightened his hold on her, and kissed her again, pleased when she didn't tense or pull away.

"I said it before, I'll say it again, you need a haircut." He smirked, pulling a bedraggled curl from her eyes. She rolled her eyes, but grinned all the same, she just wanted things to get back to normal, as on cue Sawyer nudged her arm by accident, sending pain waves through her shoulder. "Sorry…" He groaned, fishing in his pocket and drawing out a bottle. "You should take those pain pills…"

"I would like to remember watching the film." Kate pointed out. "And I don't want to hit you… its tempting anyways, and those pills…"

"Point taken, Freckles."

**(Smiles) R&R pleeaase//hugs//**


	8. Pregnant?

**When I first started writing I was gonna do each chapter from another characters POV for a change, specially Shannon who I never really looked into, but now I've written all the chapters around Kate, I think its too late to start doing that,** **which is why I'm gonna just introduce more Shannon stuff, cause it turns out she's actually quite interesting :) Short chapter, but it needed to end there, cause of tomorrows :P Suggestions are MAJORlY welcome :P Infact I'll give you a cookie if you do :D**

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"Kate!"

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"That's why you weren't in school!"

"Are you ok?"

"Does it hurt?" The questions she was bombarded with nearly overwhelmed her, and Sawyer had to give her a helping hand in stuttering out the single word.

"Wayne." She grimaced. Shannon nearly dissolved into sobs, wrapping her arms round Kate and apologising profusely, telling her she got her phone working, but by the time Kate rang, she was so tired she ignored it, and how awful she felt when she got her message, but would have rung up immediately if she knew what had happened. Sawyer was treating her with a slightly frosty attitude, much to Kate's dismay. That wasn't Shannon's fault. How was she to know Wayne was about to start on her?

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Jack enquired, actually putting a hand to her head to check if she was hot, earning a snort from Sawyer.

"Nah, I did loads of that yesterday, I'm fine… though I'm not taking those pills I just fall asleep."

"And throw up. And hit people." Sawyer smirked, pointing to the bruise on the side of his face.

"Dude, you got hit by a girl?" Hurley grinned, as Sawyer folded his arms and crinkled his nose.

"I was tryin' ta get her on the sofa, but she wouldn't move… I only put an arm round her and she hits me." Kate went pink, as Charlie sniggered, and tried to get a better look at his face.

"You really should take the pain pills, they'll help."

"Throwing up doesn't help." Sawyer grimaced.

"Maybe she's allergic? You should have taken her back, she could have had concussion!" Jack exclaimed, trying to peer into Kate's face.

"She threw up cause they said she was in mild shock… and whatever meds they had completely knocked her out."

"Still…" He reasoned. "We could take you now if you want?"

"Jack, I'm fine." Kate laughed. "Seriously its just my arm."

"And yer stomach, shoulder and head." Sawyer added, the bitterness evident in his tone.

"I'm fine… Shannon, stop it. Its not your fault! He'd already done it before I rang you." She added, seeing the tears forming in her friends eyes again.

"But I wasn't there for you!" She exclaimed, for the first time raking her hair back instead of patting it into place. "I should have picked up…"

"Shannon, I know you would have if you knew what was wrong, your not a physic nurse." Shannon gave a weak smile and wrapped an arm round Kate's shoulders, as the gaggle of teens relaxed in Sawyer's living room.

"He shouldn't be allowed to get away with that." Libby sighed sadly, not wanting to intrude, seeing as she was more Ana's friend than anyone else's.

"S' exactly what I said, Moon Beam." Sawyer sighed, "But… you and Hugo?" He grinned so widely even Libby couldn't help laughing.

"Dude… we're friends." Hurley stammered, blushing hard.

"No… no we're- we're more than friends, right Hurley?" Libby smiled shyly, taking the lead as he was too embarrassed to upset her.

"Uh… right." He grinned, laughing loudly for a moment, then settling back, ignoring the comments from Sawyer. Kate, who thought the two were very sweet was however trying to get Shannon on her own again, although it was proving very difficult.

"Shannon, can I-."

"But Boone told me to get a life, cause I was picking on Sabrina, which is like so not true."

"Shannon-?"

"And so then, we had the biggest bust up, and he… he started going on about he knows I fancy Sayid so-."

"Are you ok?" Kate cut in forcefully, her friends appearance seemed to be even more striking to last week.

"Well that's what I'm getting to-."

"No, I mean… y'know… properly. You've got so thin…"

"Hardly." Shannon scoffed, looking down at herself and plucking at her top. "Your much thinner…"

"Shan… you would tell me if something was wrong? Right?"

"Course." Kate tried to think of the words that wouldn't sound offensive, but couldn't think of any, so instead pulled at her friends sleeve and yanked her into the hall. She stammered for the first few minutes, but then sighed and opened her mouth.

"Ok… don't get mad at me… but- are you pregnant?"

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Kate flopped back on the sofa, giving Shannon some space in the kitchen, her eyes glazed with worry.

"Freckles? You taken them pills?" Sawyer asked, waving a hand in front of her face. "I thought you hated 'em." She rolled her eyes, and pushed his hands away slightly.

"Well… I guess we should go?" Ana said hopefully, her gaze shifting awkwardly from Kate to Jack.

"Ok… well I'm staying for a bit, if that's ok with you?" He asked, directing the question at Sawyer.

"That's fine-." Kate said quickly, before he could speak and ruin the moment. "

"Where's Shannon?" Claire asked, her fingers laced with Charlie's.

"Kitchen…" Kate said slowly. "Leave her for a bit, she's in a mood. Missing Sayid probably." Claire nodded and looked sympathetic.

"Well.. looks like me and Claire had better head off. We're babysitting." Charlie grinned. "See you later, mate… don't let any girls beat you up." Sawyer scowled and swore at him, leaning back on the chair and folding his arms again. "You want to walk back with us?" He asked Ana, who nodded and left without saying goodbye to anyone, leaving Libby feeling particularly awkward with Hurley.

"You look kind of flushed…" Jack said again, putting a hand on Kate's arm. "You sure you ok?"

"Yes." Kate groaned playfully, "Honestly… Sawyer took good care of me." Jack's face went red, and Kate felt a dull sense of content as she sat back slightly. "Spoilt me with Marshmallow Fluff."

"An all you can do is throw up on my shirt and car." He grinned, flicking her nose gently.

"So, are you gonna like, let people sign your arm?" Hurley grinned, already pulling a Sharpie from his pocket and waving it in the air. Kate laughed and shrugged, rolling her eyes and Sawyer pulled the pen from Hurley's hand and popped the lid off.

"I get to sign first, cause I wasted my whole evening taking her to casualty. And she threw up on me."

"When are you gonna stop talking about me throwing up?" Kate asked, slightly pink from his constant reminders.

"Never, Freckles." He grinned, already scrawling something on her cast. She looked down dubiously. If he put so much as _one_ swear word on there she was going to kill him. "There ya go." He grinned. Kate looked down quickly at the scribble and smiled. _Fix Up Soon, Freckles x Me_ Kate fought the urge to go 'Aww' and smiled at him, biting her lip.

"My idea, I go next." Hurley grinned, taking the pen and in turn scribbling on her cast. He in turn wrote on it, then Jack then Libby, all of them adding their own little messages. Kate smiled along with everyone else, but kept an eye out for Shannon, who still hadn't emerged from the kitchen.

"Tell you what… I'm gonna go get Shannon… you stay here." She said carefully, smiling down at her friends then making her way out to the hall. "Shan?" She called softly, their earlier conversation buzzing in her ears. "You ok? Can I come in?" There was a sniff from the other side of the door, and Kate closed her eyes, guilt tripping over her. She opened the door, pushing it away, to reveal a red eyed Shannon, who was pressed up against the sink, scrubbing at her face with a piece of paper towel.

"What do you want?" She said shortly, a tear already dripping down her cheek.

"Shannon… I'm sorry." Kate sighed, watching her friend sympathetically. She opened her arms slowly, and reached forward wrapping the blonde in her grasp. At first Shannon struggled, but in the end half collapsed against Kate's small frame sobbing hard. "Oh, Shan…" She soothed, "Its ok… its gonna be ok." For the first several minutes, the two girls, stood rocking each other slightly, until Kate yelped slightly as she crushed her arm against Shannon's back and they were forced to pull apart. "Come on honey…chocolate ice-cream? Sawyer's got some leftover in the fridge?" Shannon nodded, her arms clutched round her middle.

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**I quite like Shannon now :O**


	9. I Love You Too

**(smiles) Reviews make me mega happy :) Anyways, Kate's going to Iowa tomorrow :) I have decided, but not after some ****more**** Skate-ness. Hope you don't mind :P Anyways, R&R! ****//hugs// And I done a flashback… kind of…its not a proper one, and I don't think I'll be doin' any more :P ****Frostpaw;**** Hehe, I'm glad you got the whole 'Didn't actually say she was' bit :) You shall find out in the chapter :) Oh and this is just a pointless filler chapter, sorry :P**

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**I Love You Too**

Kate was laying on her back, the broken arm was raised above her head resting on a pillow as she wondered just how long Sawyer was going to continue not talking to her. She stretched, arching her back and yawning like a cat, making him smirk non the less, although he quickly turned away and pretended he wasn't watching. She was still worrying about Shannon, without having to bother about Sawyer being moody. His face was set, as he watched the TV unable to not talk to her, if she wasn't making conversation.

"I've got to, Sawyer." Kate sighed. "That's it." He scowled across at her, and continued flicking through channels. "Sawyer… please." She pouted. "You don't want me to leave on an argument?"

"I don't want you to leave full stop." He hissed.

"My mums back today, Sawyer… once she's back things can get back to normal."

"Normal? Yeah, you getting hit every other day."

"No… please." She got up and sat on the armrest next to him. "Please." She began whining, something she knew Sawyer couldn't stand, and was pleased when she got a rise out of him, and he grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

"Don't ever do that voice again." He smirked, trying in vain to keep the steeliness in his voice but failing. "Ever. Its so damn annoying."

"I knooow." She whined again, grinning from ear to ear as he kissed her to stop her talking.

"I said…" He chuckled. "Stop it."

"You gonna make me?" He raised an eyebrow at her, pleased she'd initiated their next make out session, although at the same time knowing she was only saying it to get on his good side.

"I'm gonna make you alright." He grinned, reaching behind her back and pulling her upwards so she was sitting on his lap. "Damn your hot." He grinned. Despite being attached to Sawyer's mouth at the time, the worry was still niggling in her stomach, and no matter how hard she tried to push it away, it kept coming back. She went over the conversations of last night in her head, replaying each and every detail at least several times.

* * *

"_Ok…don't get mad at me…but- are you pregnant?" Shannon froze, her hand halfway up to pat her hair in place. _

"_Wha- what?" She stammered. _

"_Shannon?" _

"_Oh god…" She breathed, her voice high pitched, her eyes slightly hysterical. "Its because I've got so fat isn't it?" _

"_No!" Kate exclaimed. "No, its because you've got so thin…" _

"_No, no it is. Its cause I've got so fat…" _

"_Shannon I just… you were being sick, your so thin, constantly worried about looking fat…" _

"_Oh, so you thought you'd just poke your nose in? That's it? Oh god, Kate your just like Sabrina!" _

"_No, Shan I was worried-."_

"_No, you weren't! You thought stupid Shannon's gone and got herself knocked up, that's so like her!" "No, Shan that's not it-."_

"_Yeah, yeah it is. Well for your information, I'm waiting until I'm with someone I love and trust! How dare you judge me like that!" Kate was at a completely loss, things were going one hundred times worse than she had ever contemplated. _

"_I wasn't-."_

"_Yeah you were! Like you can talk." She hissed, raking Kate over with an acid glare. _

"_Shan I was just worried about you!" She exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I don't think your like that at all, mistakes happen, I'm sorry…" _

"_Just leave me alone, Kate…" She hissed, "And try not to accuse me of anything else on the way"_

"_Shannon! I was worried I just-."_

"_No, I've had enough! My family are driving me nuts ok? Sabrina hates me! Boone just sticks up for her all the damn time, my dad practically chose her over me! I've had it, there all… they all think I'm…" Tears rolled steadily down Shannon's face, shocking Kate as she put an arm round her. "I'm fine!" _

"_Your not, Shannon I-." She gasped in pain as Shannon seemed to forget her broken arm and knocked her, tears sprang to her eyes, and she felt a rush of both dizziness and nausea as she clutched at the doorframe. _

"_Kate…"Shannon began. "Jesus I'm so sorry…" _

"_Its fine…" She muttered. "Accident." _

"_No, Kate I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" She choked, clutching at her friends shoulders and helping her to a sitting position on the stairs. Her eyes were actually watering through the pain, although she tried to smile for Shannon. _

"_Its fine, just relax… accidents happen…" _

"_I'll go get your pills…" _

"_No." She laughed. "Honestly… look, Shan. I'm sorry…"_

"_No, I'm sorry…" _

"

* * *

She'd said she wasn't, and Kate for one believed her, but there was something else. There had to be something else. She'd said it herself, how Sabrina was always on her back, how Boone was taking her side, and how her dad didn't care anymore. Kate knew how hard that must be, but it still didn't account for her strange behaviour. She tried all the possibilities, and came to the conclusion that maybe she _was_ making a big deal of it, but something inside her told her otherwise. 

"I might as well not bother." A rather disgruntled Sawyer snapped, pulling away from her lips and folding his arms.

"Oh, no, sorry…" Kate sighed, resting her head on his chest. "I was miles away."

"I noticed." He said dryly, hoping she might have started kissing him again. "You here again?" Kate nodded, but didn't remove her head from his chest, instead cosied down properly, much to Sawyer's annoyance. He tried to pull her up using his forearm, and kissed her softly again, which she responded to, but not in the usual manner. "All you want to do is cuddle?" He asked sarcastically, wrapping his arms round her anyway and rolling his eyes slightly as she nodded. "Might pay Colleen a little visit…?" He said jokingly, but realising it was the wrong thing to say as she sat up and folded her arms.

"Yeah you do that." She snapped. "Get beat up again."

"I was joking." Kate scowled and prodded his chest with her finger. Sawyer raised an eyebrow, then flung his head back in mock pain. "Ow. Ow. Ow." He said dryly.

"Shut up." She sighed, leaning back against him and playing with a strand of his hair, twirling it round her fingers, before pulling it slightly. "Y'know… you have the best hair for plaiting."

"… You are _not_ putting plaits in my hair." He yelped, horrified by her suggestion

"I wasn't!" She exclaimed, but her fingers were already weaving.

"Off!" He barked, turning his head to the side so her hand dropped down and shoving her off his lap. "Bridget Jones' movies, toilet seats down, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, buying… girl stuff… is ok. But I draw the line at styling my hair."

"I don't know what your talking about." She said innocently. "I was just… fiddling."

"Yeah…" He scoffed, running a hand through his hair, almost to make sure it was well and truly mussed. "Your going nowhere near…"

"Even if I did… this?" She grinned, moving forward and kissing him again.

"Mm…" He mumbled, shrugging his shoulders jokingly and pulling her closer.

"This?" She nibbled at his lip for a second, grinning when he responded by pushing her back on the sofa. "I thought so." She smiled, her tongue battling with his as she wrapped her legs round his waist. "Sawyer…" She warned. "Don't… DON'T YOU DARE!" She shrieked, squealing with laughter as he began tickling her, his fingers surprisingly soft and gentle.

"After everythin' I done for you, I think I get a reward." He grinned.

"What have you done?" Kate giggled, still twisting away from his fingers.

"You know how embarrassing it is getting' to the checkout and buyin' a box of sanitary pads when yer all on your own…? And yer a guy?" He added, grinning and proceeding to run his fingers up and down her stomach. "Ya know how difficult that is? Do ya?"

"I- I-." She choked, unable to take a breath through laughing.

"Can't hear you." He sang.

"I- I know…" She squealed.

"Good." He grinned, his fingers still prodding and brushing her skin.

"Stop! Can't- breathe- can't… Sawyer!" She laughed,

"God your cute when your suffocating." He smirked, letting his hands drop to his side and planting soft kisses down her neck. She panted for a few moments, trying to get properly air into her lungs before making a new sentence.

"Your attacking your broken armed girlfriend!"

"Damn right." He grinned

"What cause I made you buy the female necessities?" He paused for a minute, and unable to think of a witty come back, enveloped her in kisses once more.

* * *

"_Why didn't you tell me things were that bad at home?" Kate exclaimed, patting her friends back. _

"_Because I'm the dumb blonde who complains about everything!" She as well as shrieked. _

"_Boone had no right to say that, he's just a guy. Guys are stupid." Shannon laughed at that one, and scrubbed at her face. "Your dad loves you Shan!"_

"_He hates me, cause I hate Sabrina." _

"_He's just annoyed because of the whole shoe thing… you did go a little bit OTT." _

"_I didn't mean to! Boone scratched them, and he wouldn't replace it. Its not fair." _

"_Yeah, I know…its just… you've been acting so weird Shan." She leant on Kate's shoulder and scrubbed her face again. _

"_I know… I'm just tired, and fed up with it all… thanks for, y'know caring." Kate raised an eyebrow and put a comforting arm round Shannon's shoulders. _

"_No problem, Shan…I'm just glad your not pregnant. Cause you know you can talk to me about everything and anything."_

"

* * *

Sawyer pulled her upwardly roughly, kissing her neck softly and running his hands up and down her back. 

"Mm…" Kate sighed, "I should be going soon." Sawyer's face fell, and the fingers on her back went cold and rigid. "Relax."

"How can I relax?" He snapped.

"By trusting my instincts."

"Your instinct was that a wasp was going to kill you, Freckles. Remember?" She scowled, and kissed him softly. "Remember?" He persisted.

"I may do.." She pouted. "But, as I said before. I have to go." He glared at her playfully and let her stand up.

"He does anything, says anything, your coming straight back… you got it? I mean it."

"I know."

"Want me to drive you?" Kate shook her head, and buried her nose into his collarbone.

"I think I can walk fine." She smiled. "So I'll see you later."

"Definatly… before you leave, right?"

"Before I leave… tomorrow? One?"

"One." He agreed, wrapping her into another hug, his hands almost physically shaking in worry. "I love you Freckles." He whispered. Kate's eyes widened slightly, and he saw her swallow.

"I love you too." She sighed, reaching up and kissing him. "A lot… a lot lot." She felt him grinning against her lips, and nuzzled her nose against his. "See you tomorrow, Sawyer."


	10. Iowa

**I've got that farm **_**etched**_** in my memory, from when **_**my**_** dad used to take me to the countryside, even if I do live in England, s'why I described it so much :P Ok, I enjoyed writing this chapter more than any other chapter ever. I have no idea why, I think its cause I've got the farm in my head, so its easy to describe. FrostPaw; I know :( I was watching the first series again, and theres actually a line about it :( I quite like Shannon now too. SassyLostie; omg thankyou! Girl stuff (rolls eyes) bonboni; I knoow :O I'm doing some more of her the chapter after next :) Anyways, R&R //hugs//**

**

* * *

**

Kate cast her mother another disdainful look, as she bent and pecked Wayne's cheek. Kate swore she felt her skin crawl.

"Cab's here." She sighed, slinging the bag over her shoulder and making to open the door.

"Well let me say goodbye first Katie." Her mother had only been back a few days, and they already weren't talking. Diane seemed to be ignoring the fact that Kate's arm was in a cast, and had treated her like nothing was wrong. She wrapped her arms round her daughter, and kissed her cheek, trying to smile but failing, as she winced at the coldness in the girl's eyes. "Bye, then…" She sighed, turning away. Kate pushed open the door, and walked out into the freezing December weather, feeling a hell of a lot lighter, knowing that in a couple hours, she'd be in Iowa with her dad and Tom. She nodded at the cab driver, and opened the door, sliding in an clicking the seatbelt around her waist.

"Airport." She sighed, as her mother appeared at the window, waggling her fingers as the car carrying her daughter sped out of view.

* * *

Kate, still struggled with her small but heavy bag over the tarmac, shivering as the icy cold wind hit her. She scanned the terminal quickly, but on seeing no one, she moved down to the doors. Her dad was always spot on time, and she was ten minutes early. Her arm was throbbing uncomfortably, after knocking it on the aeroplane seat, and she cradled it to her chest, while keeping an eye out for her father. She was so excited! She hadn't seen him in nearly a year, and the sparse letters they sent each other were hardly enough. She wouldn't tell him about Sawyer _just_ yet, and she was still sticking to the story about falling downstairs, she last thing she needed was her dad getting involved, he always overreacted anyway. 

"Katie!" She spun round, and squealed in delight, hurling herself at her dad, w ho stood directly behind her.

"Oh my god! I missed you so much!" She exclaimed, hugging him tightly and breathing in his familiar smell. Leather and tobacco. "Daddy!"

"My little girl…" He grinned, tightening his hold on her. She felt his face drop, as she raised her left arm upwards, and he pushed her back slightly. "What happened?"

"I fell downstairs." She sighed, rolling her eyes in mock humour. "I was wearing these shoes…"

"Oh, right… are you sure?" He asked, checking her face.

"Course…" She smiled, clutching him again and holding him. She was shocked to find tears in her eyes, which she pushed back as she always did, letting her dad run his hands through her hair.

"I missed you, Katie." He sighed, "We can't leave it this long next time, you've grown so much! Your already a young woman!" Kate blushed, and looked down, slinging her backpack over her shoulder once more. "I'll take that." He smiled, pulling it off her and carrying it himself. "C'mon, cars over here." Following Sam towards the car park, Kate grinned as she saw the familiar surroundings. Nothing had changed. "Tom's coming round tomorrow morning." He smiled. "He's so excited."

"Yeah, we still right to each other and everything."

"That's lovely! Now, Katie… I did take time off work to have you here… but, uh…" Kate's face fell. She wanted to spend proper time with him! He couldn't go to work! "Turns out a weeks too long, so I'm going to have to go back on the Wednesday instead… I'm sorry, but its only one day, right?" Kate smiled in relief and nodded, that would give her some time alone anyway. "And I still haven't changed your room, although… if you wanted to, we could redecorate some time. You never liked that pink, even when we lived there."

"Its fine." She smiled, memories flooding back. "I didn't mind it."

"You coloured it in blue crayon when you were six." He laughed, remembering the horrified look on Diane's face as a six year old Kate brandished the pen in her hand, an pointed proudly to her 'artwork' on the walls.

"Oh yeah…" She smiled. "I forgot about that. I was so happy, and then I got mad when mom wiped it off."

"We had to pin up pictures you drew there, just because of the stains." Kate grinned, and slid in the passenger seat, slamming the door behind her, and breathing in the crisp chemical scent.

"I'm so happy." Kate said honestly, laughing at how strange the sentence sounded.

"I'm glad you are honey." He smiled. "I been waiting for ages to see you again, your even more beautiful each time I see you." Her cheeks flushed with pleasure, as she rested her forehead on the freezing cold, steamy glass.

"Whats for tea?" Kate asked, realising she was starving.

"Whatever you want, Princess." He smiled, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as they span out of the car park. "I've got a load of stuff, fresh in and special for you."

"Aw Dad!" Kate squealed, tying her hair back, as they rounded another corner, and the last traces of civilisation seemed to drop away, as towering woods overtook them. "The TV working yet?" Kate asked hopefully, pleased when her father nodded.

"Got is special for you. Everything's tidy, and clean, your room's a little chilly, but I gave you extra blankets."

"Ok… do you still got Penny?" She asked hopefully.

"Do I 'still got Penny'?" Her dad repeated. Kate blushed, and righted herself.

"Do you still _have_ Penny?" She grinned, rolling her eyes at her father's persistence.

"I still have Penny." He nodded. She smiled again, remembering the toffee coloured dog, bounding up to her and rapturously licking her face.

"Aw!"

"She can't do as much now, but she still likes the odd walk. Tom helps out with her when I'm at work."

"Mm." Kate smiled, as they passed through the woods and stretches of fields appeared, each of the plots outlined by an old brick wall. "Its just like I remember." A few stray snowflakes spiralled down out of the stormy sky, and landed on the wind mirror as Kate leaned back in the seat. "Oh I waited so long to come back here, I got it all marked out on my calendar."

"I got it?" Her dad said sceptically, causing Kate to laugh.

"I _have_ got it all marked out on my calendar." She smiled.

"Who have you been hanging out with to cause your speech to go so downhill in a year?" Kate snorted, as a grinning Sawyer flashed through her mind. "Well…?" He asked.

"New friend." She smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Ahh… how's your mother?" He asked, genuinely interested as Kate leant against the car door.

"Fine." She sighed. "Everything's fine…" Her dad chuckled, and took a right turn leading down a narrow dirt road, as his house came into view. Kate took a breath, as memories she had forgotten came flooding back. "Wow… oh I can't wait to get in." She smiled, grinning as her dad stopped the car, and she clambered out. The air was cold, and from the dark clouds overhead, it was obviously about to snow, as she rushed up to the porch, and took the keys from her father. Once she was inside the building, she felt a bit like crying. The wall paper on the walls was the same as it had always been, yet somehow was still in perfect condition, the whole house was warm and cosy, as she took a step forward and kicked her shoes off. She walked three steps down the hall, before turning into the living room and beaming. The black fireplace was dancing with flames, and on the deep red carpet floor, lay a big white fluffy rug. It was slightly discoloured, although Kate expected that, it had been around since she was born. She smiled again at the squashy dark blue velvet armchair, and the cracked brown leather sofa, that stood exactly as they always had, around the fireplace, yet in the perfect view of the TV. "Ohh!" She sighed, flopping back instinctively on the couch and pulling her legs up under her. Her dad laughed at her reaction, and kissed the top of her head, ruffling her hair slightly.

"You can switch the TV on, and then I'll go get dinner ready, kay?"

"Yep, and I'll go put my stuff in my room." She pulled up her bag and made her way up the stairs, grinning again as she opened the door to her bedroom. It was a little colder than downstairs, although still comfy. The had new sheets and duvets on, all with babyish prints, not that she minded, and the light pink carpet was still as fluffy as usual, as the unpacked her things, placing them in the correct places, then changing her mind and rearranging everything. She was only just fifteen, but being her made her feel like a seven year old, as she wondered whether she should hide her makeup from her dad, and placed her phone decoratively on the bedside table. She changed her clothes too, not caring that her denim skirt, woolly tights and white blouse made her look about ten, just wanting to feel comfy and warm, as her dad served dinner, and the two of them laughed at random TV shows, seated on the sofa, watching the television that only had five channels.

* * *

She groaned and turned over, as her arm clanked against the wall. 

"Katie! Its eight! Get up!" She heard her dad shout from downstairs. She was over the moon she was here, but he didn't half get up early. She hauled herself onto her front, and reached out for her mobile. _One New Text._ She smiled, as she recognised the number and clicked it open. _Missin u, have a good time, even if i aint there x Me_ she grinned, and flipped the top down. Pulling herself out of bed, and raking the hair out of her eyes, she grabbed her towel and padded across lazily to the bathroom. After showing and drying off, she was faced with the first dilemma of the day. What to wear? She was meeting Tom, and they were bound to go 'exploring' or something, so in the end she chose her old blue jeans, and a thick baggy, powder blue hoodie, along with her old sneakers that she found under the bed, which surprisingly still fitted.

"Dad!" She called, leaning over the banister.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

"Eight twenty! You want breakfast yet?"

"… Yes please!" She called, hurrying down the stairs and grinning at the sight of her dad in an apron. "You look nice." She smiled.

"Har, har… you ok with scrambled eggs?" She nodded, and pulled the plate towards her. "You looking forward to seeing Tom?"

"Yeah…" She grinned. "I can't wait… what time's he coming?"

"In about an hour and a half." He smiled, sitting his own plate down and tucking in along side her. "He was round here three days running."

"Good! Its been nearly a year, he'd better not have forgotten." Kate laughed, licking her thumb as she caught it in the butter on her toast.

"Don't worry." Sam grinned. "He hasn't." And it was true. He was ten minutes early, and grinning ear to ear, when he knocked on the door, thankful to be let in from the cold outside.

"Tommy!" She cried, wrapping her arms round him as he did the same to her. "Oh my god, I missed you!" He'd certainly changed. He was taller. Lots taller, and his brown hair was slightly floppy, and his eyes had changed colour too.

"Katie!" He grinned back, spinning her round slightly. "Your so different… your so old!" Kate laughed, and struck a pose, making him laugh. "Seriously! Woah… Katie, I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too!" She could feel tears in her eyes once again, although she was quick to wipe them away and bury her face into his shoulder. "So much…"

"How long have you got?" He asked, his hands on her forearm.

"Week, I'm going back next Thursday."

"Oh, that's not long-… oh my god, what happened to your arm?"

"I fell downstairs." She said automatically, the words falling flat, as Tom raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah right." He said softly, pulling her closer. "Your so tall! And… beautiful."

"Oh Tommy!" She giggled, resting her head on his shoulder. "I missed you."

"How many times are you going to say that?" He smiled.

"Many times are possible. You want to go in there?" She asked, pointing to the living room. He nodded, and the two of them flopped down on the sofa, still cuddled up closer. "So…" She smiled. Now the 'Hello's' were over, there was a slightly uncomfortable silence.

"So… what have you been up to?"

"Nothing." Kate smiled. "Just, y'know hanging out with friends, and Sawyer."

"Ahh, Sawyer… how are things with him, you never replied to my last letter."

"Oh, sorry… yeah things are good- don't tell my dad- he's really, really nice."

"Are you official…" He asked slowly. She nodded, then shrugged, then nodded again.

"Kind of… we've not really done anything in front of people, but its only cause I had to force him off… he's forward."

"Ah right… I get it." He grinned. "Is it love?" Kate giggled, her pulse quickening.

"Yeah…" She whispered. "Its… its all been so fast… at first we were just good friends… but we were always more than that really…which is why it just feels right with everything… its weird y'know." She smiled.

"What?"

"He's special." Tom raised an eyebrow playfully, before flicking channels on the TV.

"I'm glad your happy though Katie. And he treats you right."

"Yeah he does…" She smiled. "He treats me perfect."

* * *

**Tom and Kate were so cute :O Why oh why did he dieee?**


	11. Promise

**Thanks for the reviews :)And Lost-Inuyasha; I think Kate pulled back for both reasons, she was still shaky from the Wayne thing, and I think it kind of highlighter her insecurities about Sawyer, aka she thought he just wanted sex,. I wanted to do more of Tom, but there was something SO awful about not writing Sawyer for two days I've had to shorten it :P That and I find it really difficult to write TomKat stuff :P SassyLostie; No more Tommy :D FrostPaw; Hehe, I thought that might be cute to add it in :P //hugs// R&R!**

**Promise **

They spent the week together, both of them getting to know each other all over again. They climbed trees, they scared the local animals, they ran singing 'Its Raining Men' in the middle of the road, until Sam told them to come back inside as the snow began to fall. They did the things they hadn't done in years, making hot chocolate with KitKats, drawing little doodles, even watching the kids shows they used to. Sam cooked dinner, and the two of them did the old 'Swapping' routine, the food Kate didn't like she slipped onto his plate, the food Tom didn't like, he slipped onto Kate's plate, even though really he liked the whole lot, as he always had. They lay on the sofa, linking their fingers together, or sprawled on her bed making paper aeroplanes. Pure childish fun. They'd make up the most ridiculous stories, or dig the old tattered books out from under Kate's bed. The one's they used to join up with cotton and thread, and scrawl messy crayons over the paper. They brought out all their old CD collections, and played them along, dancing stupidly on the beds, or climbing out the window onto the roof, and watching the sunset or stars. They took a picnic and sat in the airing cupboard, and Kate had to remind herself she was fifteen not five when her dad when out to the store, and thunder crashed overhead, and the two teens clung to each other in fits of hysterical laughter, convinced there was a ghost upstairs. They talked about Rachel, and they talked about Wayne. They watched Most Haunted at midnight, and had to sleep in the same bed, because they were still freaked out from earlier. They had the best time they'd had in ages, and it showed. All the worry and stress that had made Kate's skin pale, and her hair limp, disappeared. Her face glowed, and her smiles were honest, her hair was shining and her eyes were sparkling, something she put purely down to climbing trees with Tom. Which they did a lot;

* * *

Kate gripped onto the tree harder, and laughed as Tom grinned from below. 

"Your still a monkey." He laughed, watching her in awe as she shimmied higher, glad she had chosen jeans and not a skirt and woolly tights .

"Your still the sensible one!" She called down, swinging her legs over the top branch and scooting into a comfy position.

"How can you do that with a cast on your arm?" He yelled up, noticing that the left arm never touched the tree.

"Small tree!" She laughed. She was telling the truth, it was only slightly taller than she was.

"Even so." He smiled. Kate unhooked herself from it, and slid back down, landing with a soft thud on the frosty grass. "Ooh! Clever." He grinned.

"C'mon. I'm freezing." She smiled, tugging at his hand and starting across the field. The sky was darkening, and the few stray flakes that spiralled down were annoying. Their feet crunched the frozen grass, as they made their way across the field, both of them making relaxed small talk, wondering what the exact time was. Kate laughed, as the toffee coloured dog came bounding up the field, running full pelt at Kate and licking her vigorously for the fourth time that day, gathering her in her arms, Kate carried her the rest of the way, grinning as the three of them walked into the gravel driveway, and she fished into her pocket to find they door key. Using her shoulder to push the door open, she stumbled into the house, letting the dog jump down and scamper into the kitchen. "You go into the living room, I'll make some hot chocolate or somethin'."

"Somethin'?" Tom laughed. "Since when did you get a southern accent?" Kate snorted and shrugged, making her way to the kitchen.

"KitKat?" She asked. "Dad stocked up, so we'd better eat them before I go."

"Couple hours is a short time to eat twelve biscuits." He chuckled, taking one non the less and snapping one stick off. Kate grinned, and clicked the kettle on, before pulling out the pint of milk and chocolate powder. She waited a few moments, before pouring the water into two mugs, stirring in the chocolate powder and adding the milk. "Looks delicious." He laughed, sipping it and grinning, using on of the KitKat sticks to stir it round further. Kate nodded, and the two of them made their way into the living room, before switching on the TV and letting the dog jump over their laps. "So… I still haven't heard the juicy details about Sawyer."

"I still haven't heard the juicy details about Rachel." Kate grinned, taking a sip of her chocolate and rubbing Penny's ears.

"I asked first."

"Ok… Sawyer has blonde hair… and grey-blue eyes-."

"I meant whats he like? Not what he looks like…" He laughed, smiling as Kate blushed.

"Ok… he's… uh…" _How do you describe Sawyer?_ She thought, frowning. "He's forward, and he can be a bit sarcastic… he's confidant, but he can be very sweet and caring… he's very protective underneath, it just takes a bit to bring it out…" Tom nodded, waiting for more. "He's…gorgeous, if a little bit annoying at times. I used the think he had a one track mind, but he's different with me."

"I see… how's he treat you then?"

"Very well." She laughed, seeing genuine concern in his eyes. "He's not too sweet or clean… but once you get past the bad-boy exterior… he's wonderful… and Rachel?"

"Rachel…" He grinned. "Is sweet, and caring, and _very_ clean. She's funny, and she's smart too, predicted A stars in all her GCSE's… she's got her feet on the ground, I guess you could say she's opposite to you, but I'm sure you'd get along." Kate doubted that highly, but smiled non the less. She was happy for her friend, he deserved someone nice.

"Yeah well… maybe next time we could meet up." She smiled, taking a bite of her KitKat.

"Yeah, she'd like that… I'd like that."

"Summer's not that long away, it'll be gone before you know it. When I used to come here when I was little, and I had to go home, my dad always said, the quicker you go, the quicker you can come back. And I used to run onto that plane full pelt… it never actually worked, but it was kind of true."

"Sounds to me like he just wanted to get rid of you." He laughed, poking her ribs, but stopping when the cup in her hand wobbled dangerously. "Nah, it's a nice saying."

"Yeah… this time tomorrow, I'm gonna be home… or the day after at least." She sighed. "We should write more."

"Yeah… although from experience, its usually you that doesn't write back on time." Kate chuckled and blushed again, raking her hair away from her face.

"So what does Rachel look like?" She asked.

"Umm, beautiful." He laughed. "Light brown hair, blue eyes… just beautiful…"

"Wow… she sounds great."

"Yeah… yeah she is." Kate sighed deeper and looked at her watch. _Half seven? When did it get that late?_ Using her toes, she prodded Tom, and grinned playfully.

"What are you poking me with your toe for?" He asked, tickling her feet as she kicked them out.

"Cause I couldn't be bothered to hit you." She grinned, but faltered and she sighed sadly.

"What?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm gonna miss you… lots." She sighed. "We've had the best time together… really, you're the best friend I ever had." Tom looked down and pulled her closer.

"You too, Katie." He smiled. "You too…" They were still for a moment, before Tom pulled away and sighed. She could see him struggling not to cry. He was always really emotional, something she half loved, half hated about him, he wore his heart on his sleeve. She was just worried someone might rip it up. "I should come over to see you sometime. Meet Sawyer."

"Yeah… he'd… like that." She smiled, slightly unsure. Sawyer could hurt people's feelings if they didn't realise he was joking.

"Something in your voice tells me your not telling the truth." Kate rolled her eyes. There were only two people in the entire would who knew when she was lying. Him and Sawyer.

"Nah, he's fine… but he can be a bit insensitive."

"I don't mind. I'd stick up you."

"I meant you!" She laughed. "But you are coming round tomorrow before we leave right?"

"Definatly." He assured. "Promise."

* * *

Kate took her time in stepping out of the terminal, her bag was slung over her should, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. She looked out for Wayne, but saw no one and made her way towards the tuck shop because she was starving. Everything was overpriced by ten, but she was feeling slightly light-headed so bought a bagel and some crisps. She drew her coat round herself to shut out the cold and looked around, a_lready ten minutes late, Wayne…_ Kate sighed, taking a bite and leaning back in her metal chair, getting ready for a long wait.**

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Lost-Inuyasha; and the Shannon thing, I think she thought Shannon was trying to loose weight to hide the fact that she was showing (not that she is pregnant, but she just thought that at the time.) An yeah :) Claire's great :) **


	12. Would You?

**Ok… I really wanted to do a couple of chapters purely on Kate's time in Iowa, because I thought it would be a nice break for her, but I found it ****really**** hard to write about, and I'd rather it be short than too badly written or too rushed. But tomorrow I can do some more good old-fashioned Skate-ness :D Taken up a notch possibly :P **

**This was also a bit short, cause i posted another story earlier so sorry :( **

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**Would You?**

Kate felt her stomach churn unpleasantly, and she gulped down the cold night air. Wayne hadn't even bothered to pick her up from the airport. Part of her was glad, but the other part was still pissed that she'd waited for nearly an hour in the snow. Kate brought her hand up and knocked at the door, before waiting for a moment. There was still a dull aching in her heart, as she remembered Iowa… and Tom. His words were searing into her heart and she felt her unshed tears threaten to spill once more. There was silence from within the house, and Kate knocked again. The wind was howling, and biting at her face, as she tapped her foot. _Don't do this…_ she sighed. It was late at night, where else could they be? She banged her fist a little harder on the door, but stopped when a light flicked on in the house next door. How could her mother just leave her out in the cold? She pulled her phone from her pocket, and dialled her mobile number. It rang and rang and rang, but no one picked up, until the answering machine bleated out.

"Mom… its me. Wayne's an hour later picking me up, and your not at home. Where the hell are you? Its freezing! Ring me back as soon as possible…" She clicked the button off as it vibrated softly in her hand, before shuddering away. Why couldn't they just be normal parents? She tucked her hair behind her ears and seated herself on the porch. _They'd better not be much longer…_ She scowled, shifting again as her legs began to freeze.

She'd waited for twenty minutes, _twenty minutes._ In the damned snow. She slung her bag over her shoulder, and dug out her phone again. She punched in the number she'd grown so accustomed to and waited for him to answer.

"Sawyer?" She smiled, letting out a soft sigh.

"Hey, Freckles… your back then I take it?"

"Yep… and uh… alone in the cold, dark street."

"Wha-… what? Why?" He quizzed, confusion laced in his tone.

"Because they either forgot I was coming back, or didn't care… you uh… mind if I come round?"

"O' course not." He grinned, as she heard the familiar creek of the sofa. "I'll come pick you up."

"I can walk." She smiled.

"No you can't." He replied. "See ya later then, Freckles." She smiled, and clicked the phone down. Sawyer was always there for her. Why couldn't they be? No, scratch that, why couldn't her mother? Kate raked her hair back and tapped her heels against the porch. Ten minutes later he pulled up, the same ridiculous grin spread over his face.

"Hey Sawyer." She smiled.

"Hows my little Freckles, huh?" He smirked back, as she opened the door and slid in, electricity pulsing through her as he leant forward and kissed her. It was such a nice feeling, she actually giggled, which earnt a rise of an eyebrow from him. "Did you just… giggle at me?"

"I missed you… and that." She grinned, leaning forward and kissing him again.

"I can see… you have a good time?"

"Yep." She smiled, letting her fingers run through his hair again. "I even missed your hair… about those plaits-."

"Don't go there…" He warned, grinning non the less as Kate pulled him towards her again. "Slow down."

"Why?" She smiled, sitting back in her seat, but keeping one hand in his hair, much to his annoyance.

"Leave my hair alone." He chuckled.

"Why?" She repeated, letting go and clicking her seatbelt on. He ignored her and revved the car up, before speeding away.

"So what did ya do?"

"Nothing really, we just did stuff when we were kids. Like, we watched Most Haunted this one time, and got freaked out cause we heard weird noises upstairs."

"Mm, sounds fun." He sniggered, "Urgh… when's It gonna stop damn snowin'." He snapped, looking up at the sky through the window.

"When winters over." Kate pointed out, grinning as he scowled through the window.

"I hate winter." He snapped.

"I noticed… I'm tired." She sighed, rubbing her eyes and smiling as they pulled up outside Sawyer's house.

"Well ya can sleep as long as ya want to, Freckles." He grinned, clicking open his belt and stepping out the car. "Ya want me to take yer bag?"

"I think I can manage." She smiled, slamming the car door and walking up to his porch with him. Once inside, she dropped her bag onto the floor and embraced Sawyer properly, letting him run his fingers through her hair and enjoying fitting into his arms. "Mm… I missed you."

"I missed ya too." He mumbled, steering her into the living room while still holding onto her waist. "Mm… how's yer arm?"

"Its fine." She nodded, bringing it up to her chest. "I even climbed a tree."

"How… how the hell did ya climb a tree?!" He exclaimed, looking impressed. "You gotta show me how ta go that sometime."

"Gladly." She smiled, flopping down on the sofa before drawing her knees up and resting her head against his chest, her nose buried in his shirt. "… Have you been smoking?" She scowled.

"Mm… mighta been… whats it to ya?"

"Its something to me if I'm gonna kiss you." She exclaimed, folding her arms smugly.

"… What, you rule my life now?" She paused for a moment.

"Yes."

"Wha-… you damn don't." He choked.

"Fine…" She sighed, mocking sadness. "I was looking forward to kissing you too…"

"Don't think I'll fall fer that." He smirked. There was another pause, in which Sawyer edged forward. "Freckles?… Don't think I'll…" She grinned and nodded. "You uh… I… ok, ok… breath mint." He exclaimed, digging into his pocket and inserting a small white tablet into his mouth. Kate smiled, and rested her head back down on his chest, pleased to have won their first debate of the evening. Her mind however wandered back to her mum, and she found herself angry again.

"How could she just forget?" She barked suddenly, sitting upright and shocking Sawyer slightly.

"Maybe she thought you had a key?" He reasoned. It wasn't that he was trying to stick up for Diane, and certainly not Wayne, it was just he didn't want his first night in with her in a week to end in bad feelings.

"She knew I didn't…" She sighed, resting back down and cuddling up to him further. "She knew it."

"C'mon Freckles. Don't ruin it."

"Don't ruin what?" She said indignantly, when he didn't answer she got up onto her knees, her hands on her hips. "What?"

"Nothin'…" He smiled, but she wasn't giving up. She got up properly, and seated herself on his lap, her hands still on her hips.

"What am I ruining?"

"Absolutely nothing." He grinned, burying his nose into her neck, kissing her softly until she laughed again and wrapped her arms round him. "Your beautiful…" He sighed, leaning his cheek against hers.

"Hmm, thank you." She smiled, "Your not bad either… nice hair-."

"No." He said firmly, untwining her fingers once again from his hair. "What is it with girls and plaits?"

"Nothing." She grinned, wrapping her arms firmly round his neck and pulling him down onto the sofa. He smirked against her mouth, and pulled her to him, turning her round on the sofa so they were back to chest. "I love you." She smiled. It felt easier to say it this time, it rolled off her tongue properly, instead of causing the restricting feeling it had done last time.

"Mm, I love you too Freckles." He sighed. "I love you so much…" Kate giggled, turning round again and kissing him softer than before, as his arms snaked their way down to her hips as she played with his hair again. "Get the hell of my hair, girl." He exclaimed softly, not bothering to untwine her fingers. She smiled and wrapped her arms righter round his neck, letting her nose bury into his collarbone, enjoying being held. She didn't realise how much she missed him! Sawyer seemed to sense it, and pulled her even closer, kissing her softly on the top of her head.

"I missed you so much…" He groaned playfully, running his fingers back through her hair, and tilting her head backwards until her nose touched his. They stared at each other for a while. A long while, it seemed, until Kate was forced to blink and they broke it. How could just one look from him break all her barriers down? It wasn't that she disliked it, she just didn't like it…it made her feel open and vulnerable. She trusted him completely, and she didn't believe he would hurt her… but from her experience, if you let someone in. You got hurt.

"If I told you to leave me alone… would you?" She asked softly. Sawyer's face went grey and he looked down for a moment.

"What-."

"I love you. I want to be with you, but I mean it. If I told you to leave me alone would you?"

"… Yeah…" He began slowly, his face utterly bewildered. "Are you… what are you talking about?"

"Just wanted to make sure you would."

"Yeah… do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms tighter round his neck. "No, I love you, and I want to be with you and more… I just wanted to know." Sawyer nodded, half understanding half not. Kate wasn't the clingy type of girl, and he respected her need for time on her own, but she didn't half freak him out sometimes. "Just… y'know."

"Not really." He smiled. "But yeah… course I'd leave ya alone… do you want me to-."

"I just said!" Kate laughed, "I just wanted to know."

"Now ya know… hope yer not gonna put it to use…"

"Nope." She smiled, nuzzling into his neck and kissing him softly. She pushed up to him as close as possible, his own body heat warming her as she rested her head on his chest and let his hands pull her sideways. She didn't mean to, but her hips rocked up against his and she only realised what she was doing when the grip on her back slackened slightly and he pulled away from her. She didn't get it at first, but blushed crimson when she realised. She expected him to get embarrassed along with her, but he didn't seem to mind, and instead grinned, and continued kissing her. Her stomach did a flip, and she clamped her lips together in order to stop herself making some kind of excited yelp. They weren't _doing_ anything, so why did she feel so excited? He didn't seem to mind and carried on kissing her softly, his hands stayed on the same spot on her back as she let him move further down her neck. "Sawyer…" She sighed happily, nuzzling her nose with his. He seemed to be on high alert and ceased the kissing, pulling back, thinking she was asking him to stop. She smiled softly, looking him in the eye properly. "I love you." She smiled, initiating the next kiss and pressing herself up to him again. She smiled softly, and felt her stomach flipping again as his hands moved backwards and took a hold of her belt, his fingers running forward on the material to come round to the buckle, and Kate took an intake of breath as he tipped her face up and she stared into his eyes.

"Freckles?"

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**Aww :) Do they have Hollyoaks in America? If they don't then you'll probably have no idea what my other fics about. But check it out anyway if you wants (hint, hint) Jk :P **


	13. Not Another Notch

**:D Thanks for the reviews!! Ok… I HATE this chapter. It was half a filler chapter half not… which is a weird combo. Anyways… I was thinking about Kate finding Sawyers letter? Even though its bound to end in lotsa angst. Do you mind? And OMG this chapter was SO hard to write, and I have no idea why:O Anyways I wasn't about to do anything graphic so… yeah. R&R pleaaaase:D**

**Oh and i'm not gonna be able to update till the day after tomorrow, for my family is crazy, and i'm meant to write a seven page essay thingy by tomorrow evening... so :P **

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**Not Another Notch**

He stopped and looked properly at her. She could feel her face flushing as she looked down slightly, the fingers of her right hand laced with his. He coughed and removed his hands from her belt, instead running them up her back and leaving them on her shoulder blades. They lay in silence for a few moments, Sawyer's mouth resting against her neck as she felt her heart beating in her chest.

"Sorry…" He muttered, pulling away slightly, his hands moving from her back round to her front, were they rested on her stomach.

"Its ok…" She smiled weakly and honestly. He was clearly uncomfortable, and coughed again to break the silence, as she rested her head back on the sofa. "I don't mind…" He smiled gently, but he still looked slightly guilty. She leant forward and kissed him again, moving closer to him, and smiling as he held her closer.

"I jus'… don't want to rush you or anythin'…" He mumbled, the sentence sitting uncomfortably with him. He'd never said it before.

"Your not." She smiled, burying her face into his neck and smiling happily as he continued to kiss her.

"I jus'… I love you." He sighed. "I don' want you to be another notch on-." He corrected himself quickly as she narrowed her eyes at him. "I want it to be special." Kate smiled, feeling slightly awkward about it, and pulled him closer.

"I know." He kissed her again, his fingers running through her hair all over again, as he pressed further up against her. "I love you." She breathed, smiling as his fingers ran up her waist and she inched closer to him. He pulled one hand round her back, and rolled them over so he had her half pinned underneath him.

"Your sure?" He pressed, his hand lingering on the rim of her jeans. She nodded, her eyes wide and honest, as he unzipped her jeans slowly, his hands brushing against her skin. Sawyer was so _nervous. _He'd never felt this scared of hurting anyone in his entire life, as she wriggled out of her jeans, and he planted kisses down her front.

* * *

He slumped on top of her, feeling her smile against his mouth. He brushed the hair in her eyes away from her face, and used his thumb to run over her freckles, gazing into her eyes and rubbing his nose against hers. 

"I love you…" He murmured, rolling over and letting her pull the covers up to her neck. "So much…"

"I love you too." She smiled lazily, turning onto her side and resting her chin in his collarbone. He snaked his hand round her back and pulled her to him, her skin against his as his arms wrapped tighter round her small frame.

"Your beautiful…" He whispered against her hair, stroking it softly and pulling the covers over her shoulders as he realised how chilly his room was. "You cold?"

"Mm." She shook her head, and cosied closer to him, her hair tickling his nose, which had been let down earlier.

"You hungry?" She shook her head again smiling gently. "Thirsty?"

"No..." She sighed happily, pulling the covers up and closing her eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes!" She laughed, his concern endearing as she reached up and kissed him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Relax." She smiled, nuzzling her nose with his.

"And your sure I didn't hurt you?" He pressed again, cupping her face and forcing her to look into his eyes.

"Sawyer." She sighed. "You did not hurt me… ok?" He grinned nervously, and rested his head next to hers, her breath tickling his nose again.

"I love you." He sighed. "So much… I was jus'… your amazin'." Kate giggled, and used her thumb to poke his dimples.

"Your not bad either." She teased, shifting up and pressing herself hard up against him, trying to get as close as possible. "In fact… your pretty good."

* * *

"He's cute!" Shannon grinned, taking a better look at the picture of Tom. Sawyer, who didn't seem to be as thrilled at the picture as Shannon, was sulking slightly over in the corner. 

"Is that all you can say?" Kate laughed, watching as Claire nodded appreciatively at the camera.

"I still wish we could have met him." She sighed.

"Yeah." Sawyer said sarcastically. "Country boy in the city." Kate looked sideways and frowned.

"Shut up." Jack sighed, looking back over at her kindly. "Have you spoken about him coming here?"

"Kind of… we were going to but… he couldn't make it." As Claire looked confused she carried on. "We were going to meet up before I left… but he couldn't make it."

"Can't even be bothered to say goodbye." Sawyer snorted, rather cruelly in Kate's opinion.

"Sawyer!" She exclaimed. "Whats your problem with him? You never met him.

"Good." He sighed, folding his arms and opening another can of beer before stalking off to the kitchen.

"Ignore him." Jack sighed, looking across at Ana who looked quite annoyed.

"Why's he so annoying?" She hissed.

"Well… show us more of those pictures." He cut in tactfully as Kate threw him the camera.

"That's the dog, Penny." She smiled reminiscently.

"Aww!" Claire grinned, fingering the screen. "I wish I had a dog…"

"Your mom's still mad at you for dying your hair black, sneaking a puppy into your room might just tip her over." Shannon laughed, playing with her friend's jet black hair. Kate smiled along, watching Ana out the corner of her eye move away into the kitchen. God she hated her.

"So whats up with Sawyer?" Shannon quizzed, moving round to sit opposite her.

"I dunno… nothing. I think he's jealous…" Jack snorted, earning a glare from Kate. "No… I just… I dunno… I don't think he's got much confidence." Jack wasn't the only one to laugh at that, causing Kate to blush darker. "I don't! I think he just puts on an act…"

"Kate, if there's one thing Sawyer has, its confidence." Jack snorted, handing her back the camera. She shrugged her shoulders, and pulled her hair back. She didn't expect them to understand anyway. She pushed herself up using her hands, and flicked on the TV, as Shannon instructed her what channel Exposé was on. Shannon. Dammit, know Kate was worrying about her again. Thin. She was so thin. She knew better this time than to just go right ahead and ask what was wrong, after all, Shannon had said herself it was due to stress. But Kate just didn't believe it. She'd tried again yesterday, saying she wanted to loose weight for her party, but Kate didn't believe that either.

"So you got everything for your party?" She asked, smiling at Shannon, while still trying to calculate exactly how much she must have lost.

"Yep, I've just got to pick some more music, I was thinking about Fall Out Boy and Cascada really…" She smiled. "What do you think?"

"Perfect." Claire grinned, getting up on her knees and going over to Kate's CD stand.

"Yeah, you can use any of those." Kate offered pointing over to them. "Although most of them are depressing." She laughed. And it was true, most of them were quite sad.

"Yeah…" Claire admitted, surfacing from her CD rack and raising an eyebrow. "Where's all your fun music?"

"On Itunes." She smiled. "But I can burn some off to use though?"

"Yeah… no sad stuff though." Shannon warned, knowing what her friend was like. She wasn't depressive, just liked those kinds of songs, and she'd had many a good time calling Kate an Emo.

"Voodoo Child, Rogue Traders? Do you have that?" She nodded.

"I love that song.

"Good, use that one… and Smile, Lily Allen?"

"Yep."

"Brilliant." Shannon said proudly, stepping into Party-Planner mode. "Hey, do you think we could hang little candles up outside?"

"Why? Its snowing practically." Claire laughed, as Jack and Ana raised an eyebrow.

"Well… Santa Grotto type thing." She tried, clearly caught up on the idea. Kate laughed, and imagined Shannon running round the garden, lighting candles in a mini skirt. "…Ok, maybe not outside, but in windows and stuff. Its gonna be a proper party." Kate nodded in agreement, and made a mental note to copy her music.

"Kickin' ya'll out now… specially you." Sawyer sighed appearing out of nowhere, standing in the hallway and pointing to the people on the floor, glaring at Ana who appeared from behind him. Kate frowned for a moment, wondering if he meant her to. "Sept you Freckles, obviously." He smirked, pushing Jack slightly harder towards the door.

"See you on Wednesday, six ok?" Shannon checked, trying to turn round, but finding Sawyer's hands on her shoulders, urging her forward.

"Yep." Kate grinned, waving her fingers as Sawyer ushered them further. Once they were out, Kate put her hands on her hips and faced him. "What the hell was that for?"

"For you." He smirked, going forward and lifting her off her feet. "Because I love you… so much."

"And I love you too… but you didn't need to chuck them out…" She giggled, pulling her towards him and burying his face in on her front.

"Yes I did Freckles, unless you fancy givin' them a porn show?" Kate laughed and tried in vain to smack him off, before giving up and letting him press her backwards onto the sofa.

"What happened with Ana?" She asked, "She was giving you evils. Major evils."

"Nothin'." He said, his voice slightly flat.

"Sawyer…" She began, frowning slightly. "Did she-."

"I said, nothin'." He smirked, distracting her at once by kissing her, sending butterflies fluttering into her stomach. "Are you plannin' on staying here overnight again?" He grinned, playing with the strands of her hair.

"Yeah… if I can?"

"Duh." He exclaimed, wrapping his arms round her waist again. "You plannin' on ringing yer mom?" He felt her sag against him slightly, and she pushed him away.

"No."

"Well… has she tried ringing ya?" Kate nodded slowly and folded her arms, making it clear she hadn't picked up. "Ok… well don't that tell ya somethin'?… Maybe you should jus' see why she forgot… she might have a good reason?"

"Doubt it." Kate sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms round them. "She always makes excuses…"

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**:) Ok... i know its badly written and everything, but i'll do a proper one tomorrow, cause of the letter thing. xox **


	14. Sawyer's Letter

**Thanks for the reveiws:) Its short but… meh. What do you think?**

**Oh and next chapters all angsty :O Mainly Kate and Wayne though, you didn't think i was gonna leave the ****father thing did you:O**

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**Sawyer's Letter**

He was sat on the sofa, with Kate laid across his lap. Her headache hadn't gone away yet, and the Aspirin he had forced down her throat didn't seem to be helping. She had her face half buried in his shirt, so one eye was free to watch Shaun Of The Dead. It was a comedy, and it didn't phase Sawyer, but judging by Kate's shrieks it did her.

"Oh for godsake, Freckles. That's so fake!"

"It is not!" She yelped. "I mean… it is… but… urgh…" She turned again so her eyes were hidden behind the folds of his shirt. The main guy in the film threw a record at one of the zombie's heads, and Kate shrieked again. He pressed his hands against Kate's ears as there were nasty noises from the TV screen, she looked up gratefully and pressed her face against his chest again. The record players turned into shovels, and Kate screeched in disgust as Sawyer tightened his grip on her. "Urgh… that was so gross…"

"Girls…" He teased, pulling her back up to him and cuddling her properly. Stroking her hair and resting his chin on her shoulder so he could watch the DVD.

"My head hurts…" She groaned, blinking softly and resting back down. Her breath began to tickle his neck, so he pulled her back slightly and turned her round, so he was holding her like a baby. She laughed as he tightened his grip on her, his left arm under her knees and her right arm round her back, so she was half sitting on his lap, half being held. "What? I wanna watch the film?" She took a look at the screen, but immediately regretted it and pressed her face into his shirt again, her arms going round his neck, much to his amusement. He sniggered and held her closer, happy to have her so close to him again.

"I love you." She smiled, toying with his blonde bangs again. Kate was _ridiculously_ happy. It had been perfect! Fair enough there were no petals, and they scarcely made it to the actual bed, but still…. She smiled again, and made a soft exhale of breath against his shirt. She'd never imagined it would be so… special. It wasn't embarrassing or scary, it was just… perfect.

"How many Freckles d'you think you've got." He asked randomly, pulling his hand out from under her knees and running it softly over the bridge of her nose. "Forty?… No… thirty?"

"I don't know I can't see." She sighed, trying to look down at her nose, in turn going cross-eyed as Sawyer burst out laughing.

"You look like Bambi." He smirked, burying his face again into her curls. Kate was quiet for another moment, before opening her mouth.

"…What did happen with Ana yesterday, you never said…?"

"Nothing." He sighed, pulling her towards him again and beginning to cuddle her.

"Sawyer!" She exclaimed. "Just tell me… she didn't… say anything?"

"Guilty conscience Freckles?" He grinned.

"Don't change the subject… Sawyer?"

"She just annoyed me, and I guess I called her one nickname too many."

"… Sawyer? What did you call her?" She sighed, closing her eyes to hide the glee. She swore Ana was crushing on Sawyer, and any fights they had gave her immense pleasure.

"Ana-Lulu." He sighed.

"You always call her that…" She said, confused. Sawyer shrugged and continued kissing her, one hand going under her shirt to stroke her stomach.

"Yeah well…" He sighed, running his fingers through her hair again and bringing her back up to cradle against him. "I love you…" He grinned, distracting her yet again as he pulled her against him once more.

"I love you too…" She smiled, letting him hold her tighter. "A lot…"

"Good." He grinned, and looked pointedly at her chest. She rolled her eyes, before brushing the hair out of her face.

"I should be going home later…" She sighed, nuzzling Sawyer's nose again, as he pulled her upwards, his hands already fumbling with her bra straps. "Or not…" She chuckled, kneeling up so he could push her jeans down. "Do you think-." She began, distracted again as he kissed her. "Maybe-." She put a hand to her head to block out the pain, as Sawyer recoiled.

"What?"

"My head." She said pointedly, rolling her eyes.

"… Oh…" He said, disappointment written across his face. "I guess that means no…"

"Could you just get me an aspirin actually." She said dazedly widening her eyes briefly to try and focus on him.

"Sure…" He sighed teasingly, giving her a peck on the cheek and getting up. She flopped backwards and sighed as she turned onto her side on the sofa and shut her eyes. She heard him clattering about in the kitchen and clutched her ears with her hands. She was about to get comfy properly, when something tickled her stomach. She dug under herself, and brought out a crumpled piece of paper, she wouldn't have opened it or read it if she wasn't quite so sleepy, but she did. And she did.

_Dear Mr. Sawyer, You don't know who I am but I know who you are and I know what you done. You had sex with my mother and then you stole my dad's money all away. So he got angry and he killed my mother and then he killed himself, too. All I know is your name. But one of these days I'm going to find you and I'm going to give you this letter so you'll remember what you done to me. You killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer._

She froze. What the hell did that mean? Had Sawyer…? No. No he wouldn't have done that. No way. And then little details jumped out at her. The envelope was old and crinkled, the paper was torn in several places. It was old. A good couple of years if she was correct. And even then, it didn't occur to her. Not until she was halfway through reading it for the third time. It had never been posted. She pressed the letter down onto the sofa, feeling guilt press down on her. She was about to slip the letter back into the envelope and push it down the side of the sofa, when she was disturbed.

"What the hell do you think your doing?!"

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**Things were a bit too fluffy…. :O**


	15. Mommy

**Thank you soooo much for the reviews! **

**Angst, likely to be some for the next chapter or two although its all Wayne's fault … :O Slight swear word-y-ness :P And I'm really being harsh on Kate… (sighs) **

**Bonboni**** helped me with this chapter :) She rocks :)**

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**Mommy**

The anger in his voice was frighten as he lurched forward and pulled the letter out of her hands so fiercely she was pulled forward slightly.

"Sawyer…" She began softly. "I found it and-."

"Thought you'd go sneaking around looking at it?" He hissed, crumpling the envelope in his grasp and pushing it down his shirt.

"No… I wasn't sneaking." She tried, looking nervously at his face, contorted with anger.

"Did I say you could read it?"

"No-."

"Then why did you?" He shouted. Kate wasn't one to get frightened, but since the Wayne incident she'd been more shaky than usual, and it scared her. She frowned gently, the dread building up inside her.

"I- I didn't know you didn't want me to-."

"What the hell gives you the right to read it?" He yelped, moving closer towards her.

"Nothing I'm sorry-." She stammered, pulling herself up from the sofa to stand a couple feet away.

"Jesus Kate!" He yelled, turning round and running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry! I never knew I wasn't allowed to read pieces of damn paper I found at my boyfriends house!"

"Oh I'm your boyfriend now?" He shouted. "Now Tom's out the picture and you let me in your pants."

"Sawyer!" She barked, angry now. "Tom's like my brother! I told you, and its got nothing to do with last night…"

"Why did you read it!" He repeated his voice low and threatening, he moved closer to Kate in one swooping movement and took hold of her wrist.

"Let go." Kate said softly, trying not to show exactly how scared she was.

"Why?"

"Let go." She repeated, before pulling out of his grasp hard and stumbling backwards. Even in his rage he put an arm out to stop her falling, and pulled her back, although let her go instantly.

"Get out." He breathed, stretching out an arm and pointing to the door. Kate scowled and stared at him.

"Sawyer… I never meant to-."

"Yeah but you did!" He yelled again. "Get out."

"Sawyer!" She yelped. "It was an accident, why the hell are you so upset… you wrote that… didn't you?"

"Its non of yer damn business!" Kate tried in vain to put her hands on his arm to comfort him, but he brushed her off hard and she was left staring at him, her arm still hanging in mid hair.

"Get out!" He yelled, yanking at her wrists and pushing her out the living room.

"Ow!" She hissed. "Get off, I won't say anything, I never meant to read it!"

"But you did." He snapped, fumbling at the lock with one hand and pushing her hard out of the door. She only saw a glimpse of him before it shut hard in her face, but when she did she got the biggest shock of her life. There were tears in his eyes.

"Sawyer!" She shrieked, banging her fist against the door. "Open the damn door!" There was no sounds from within. She felt the first flakes of snow spiral out of the sky and land in her hair, as she brushed them away. This wasn't how things were meant to be. "Open up!" She yelled again, but there was no answer. What the hell was that? She put a fist to her temple and sat heavily down on the step. What the hell was that? Using all her strength she pushed her tears back and hammered harder on the door. "OPEN THE DOOR!" She screamed, shocking even herself at the sheer volume.

"Kate go home!" Sawyer yelled through the door, him too giving it a bang from the inside.

"Sawyer I'm sorry!" She called. "I never meant to!" He stopped talking after that and the hall light was flicked off, leaving Kate half fuming half desperately confused. Something inside her settled and she put her head in her hands, trying to stop herself kicking the door again. She felt so guilty! The tears in his eyes had shocked her to the core, and she felt slightly numb now. The fact that her mind was split into about twenty different personalities didn't help. It was her fault, it was his fault, he overreacted, she invaded his privacy, she'd made him cry, he'd left the letter around, which caused her to make him cry… god she was confused. She rested her chin on her knuckles and dug them in to distract herself, even though there was no chance of that actually happening. He'd never fought with her. Sure they'd had a few sharp words before they got together, but nothing like this. He acted like he hated her. God, she didn't blame him. That letter had been… he had written that letter, and from the childish handwriting she was guessing when he was eight or nine. He'd never talked to her about his parents, and made it clear he didn't want to, so she hadn't pressed…Oh god, what had she just done? She used her fist to wipe at her eyes, before tears had even formed and pushed herself up, starting off at a run towards the corner shop. Kate never comfort ate, but this seemed a great time to start. Half an hour later, her head resting against his front door as she played with the hem of her coat, she was sat in exactly the same position as before. "Open the door…" She groaned. She did it so quietly, she doubted he could hear her, but repeated it several times, until it turned into a meaningless string of babble. She felt slightly drunk, as the chocolate sat uncomfortably in her stomach, and the freezing air bit her face. There had been no movement from inside the house for the past half an hour, but Kate was determined not to give up. She'd convinced herself that her and Sawyer were never going to work out, but now something had actually gone wrong, especially after the night before last everything seemed to wrong. "Sawyer!" She repeated, slamming the back of her hand against the door, followed by the smack of her head.

"Kate, dammit go away!" He yelped from the other side.

"Then let me in! I'm sorry, I never knew the letter was personal."

"I'm not telling you again, get lost!"

"But Sawyer!" She shrieked, getting to her knees and pressing the palms of her hand against the door. "I love you!" There was still no reply, and she growled loudly and slammed her fist against the door. "Sawyer!" She put a fist to her head and banged hard again. She gave up and sank to the ground, tears of pure desperation rising as she brushed them away just as quick. Kate _never_ cried. She picked herself up, giving the door one last kick, making a mental note not to take her aggression out on inanimate objects. Kate strode through the streets, her hands gripping the back of her neck. She was in _no_ mood to go to Shannon's party right now, she just wanted to go home and sob her heart out in her pillow. She brought her phone out from her pocket and dialled Shan's number. It rang for a few moments, before she picked up, the music already beating in the background.

"Hey?" She called.

"Shan." Kate choked, forcing herself not to cry. "I can't come to your party."

"What?…. Why?"

"I've fucked it all up!" She choked. "Sawyer…"

"Kate, I can't hear you- why can't you come?"

"I just can't." She righted, tucking the hair behind her ears as the snow became slippery under her feet. She clicked the phone off as she cut off her best friend's line, and pocketed the phone again, using all her strength not to kick something else. Once she reached her house, she slammed her arm against the door as it creaked open. Wayne never locked the door, the selfish idiot. "Mom?" She called. "Mommy! I need to talk to you!" God, when had she last called her mommy? "Please?" There was no answer, and she made her way into the kitchen, deeply ashamed of the tears that seemed to appear on her face. She tried ringing Sawyer once again, but there was no reply, again. She took a seat on the table, and put her head in her hands. Kate was never sad. But this was something else… she loved Sawyer. And she'd just hurt him… There was something in the sink, glinting slightly in the moonlight. Vodka… she was so confused it just seemed like a good idea… she climbed down from the table top and took the freezing bottle into her hands. She tipped it up, swallowing a good deal before recoiling from the taste and dropping the bottle to the floor. Urgh… she wasn't gonna do that in a hurry, why the hell did Wayne drink it? It just tasted like gasoline or something…

"DON'T!" There was a scream from the corridor as Diane and Wayne toppled from the door. "PLEASE!"

"Mom?" Kate choked, stepping over the smashed bottle and tripping over to the hall. "Stop hurting her!" She called automatically, expecting Wayne to be gripping her or something, but she wasn't. Instead, Wayne was standing looking triumphant by the door, and Diane grabbing at his shirt.

"I'm not doin' anything, sweetheart." He snarled. Kate frowned, before realising what was wrong. He wasn't drunk… "Your mommy's got something to tell ya."

"Mom?"

"DON'T! Wayne please…" Diane sobbed, grabbing at his shirt.

"Mom, stop it…" She choked, pulling her back slightly, but missing completely and tumbling forward.

"She's got something to tell ya… somethin' important."

"DON'T!" She screamed, reaching a hand out to push Wayne backwards.

"Don't touch me, Di." He smirked, he lurched forward towards Kate and took her into his arms, spinning her round so his forearms were crossed over her chest. Her head was spinning so much, she just swayed.

"Mom whats happening?" She yelped, trying to move forward out of his grasp.

"Go on then, Di. Tell her!"

"Wayne… please!"

"I'm yer _daddy_." He spat.

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**R&R:)**


	16. Fallen

**SassyLostie; Thankyou! I thought it was a bit much to have both arguments and Wayne happen at once, but i guess its ok :P Sivan8; Angst, angst :P I don't think he knew how to react about her reading it, and just reacted how he usually did by lashing out (woah i sound like a shrink or somethin' :P ) xAsherlayx; Hehe, its fine :P And thanks :) I'm all about Skate angst :P FrostPaw; I know :( Poor Kate, its such a cute nickname too! Lost-Inuyasha; Thanks for the idea :) I twisted it round a bit, but thankyou :D **

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**Fallen**

Kate put a hand to her head and stared. Please god let the bottle she had just downed be affecting her hearing…

"What?" She choked. "Stop it…"

"Katie…" Her mother began. "Its not like that, ok, that's not how it is…"

"Mom?" She whimpered, her head spinning dangerously. "No, no…"

"So, Katie… what did ya do at school today?" Wayne spat, shoving Kate towards Diane with such force she was sent backwards.

"Katie, I'm sorry…" Diane began, "Its not… I'm sorry." Kate shook her head. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Oh god… she could feel the blood in her veins getting thicker, as dirt coursed through them. Her dad… Sam?

"No… no, no, no, please… mom…" She gasped. "Don't do this to me…"

"Katherine…"

"DON'T!" She screamed. Wayne moved forward again and wrapped his arm round Kate's shoulder.

"Come here, darlin'… see Di? What made you think she'd be better with that bastard?" She could feel her stomach churning, and her head spinning as she tried in vain to digest what had just be given. He pressed his hand to Kate's face and continued to taunt Diane, as neither adults seemed to be aware Kate was falling apart. No, no… this couldn't be happening. This wasn't her life… She didn't want to be anything to do with him, she didn't want HIM! She wanted to throw up. She felt disgusting… the urge to retch was overpowered as he yelled some form of abuse, and she moaned as his knee came in sharp contact with her stomach. Diane's fist seemed to have connected with Wayne's face too though.

"YOU BASTARD!" She screamed. "HOW COULD YOU TELL HER?" Kate wasn't aware of what was going on elsewhere, but she pulled herself over to the wall, and smacked the back of her head against it. She felt physically _sick_. Violated… like… like nothing was safe or right or real. She grasped her head in her hands and dug her nails in. This wasn't happening… this wasn't… Her mother wrapped an arm round her shoulders, and tried to pull her to her feet. "Look what you've done to her!" She yelled, pulling Kate over to her, even thought she tried in vain to push her mother off. Wayne said something else, but she didn't want to hear and buried her head in her hands.

"There's nothing wrong with her, she practically downed a bottle of vodka, stupid kid…" Wayne laughed cruelly, pushing Kate's shoulder.

"Leave her alone!" Diane snapped, pushing him away and going back to tend to her daughter, who was looking like she might be sick. "Now, Katie you've got to understand what happened, Sam was away and -."

"Get off." She choked, pushing her mother back to hard she fell backwards. Kate pulled herself to her feet and backed off against the door.

"Oh for godsake stop overreacting!" Wayne hissed. "I'm the one that should be pissed, your mommy didn't tell either of us." Her head span dangerously again and she fumbled towards the exit. Despite Diane's tugging and Wayne's shouting, she managed to unlock it, and collapsed onto the street. She vaguely remembered Shannon's party, but the need to sob into someone's shoulder overruled her common sense, as she ignored the shouts of protest from the house and staggered down the street, for once in her lifetime unable to stop the sobs that shook her body. She felt _dirty._ She felt everything good turn bad, as she tried forcefully to thin clearly. No one followed her, Diane and Wayne were busy screaming at each other, and she was grateful for that, for once not caring what he did to her mother. The music was thumping form inside Shannon's house as she stumbled up the snowy driveway, collapsing against the door and banging repeatedly on it, not one hundred percent aware that the cries she was emitting carried straight through the house. Whoever was on the other side of the door, shouted some kind of abuse before yanking it open, and making a yelping noise.

"Kate?" Whoever was there was nearly knocked backwards as she threw her arms round their neck. "What- whats… SAWYER!" She tried in vain to stop sobbing, but it was impossible now, even though was painfully aware she was crying in front of her friends as a steady crowd formed round them. "SAWYER!" Shannon was holding onto Kate for dear life, petrified to see her friend in such a state.

"What?" He barked, staggering slightly once he caught sight of the two girls. His instant reaction was to roll his eyes. Kate had never seemed to emotional sort, but he guessed their little tiff earlier had pushed her to it. "Oh for godsake we only-."

"She's drunk." Ana noted, appearing from behind Sawyer and going forward to pry Kate off Shannon.

"What happened?" Jack squeaked, pushing past Sawyer with force and putting an arm round her shoulders. Expecting Kate to point an accusing finger at him, he folded his arms defiantly, but the name she sobbed sent him crashing back down to earth with a shattering impact .

"Wayne…" His stomach fell, and he felt slightly winded for a moment. The fact that she had dissolved into sobs, which he had never seen before was scary enough, but the fact that the words she was crying was Wayne… he automatically thought the worst, as everyone else seemed to, as they stared in horror and Ana went forward to help Shannon pull Kate into the living room.

"What?" He choked. "Whats he done, Kate…" She was inconsolable, sobbing hard against Shannon's chest, as her arms were wrapped round her.

"Its ok, Kate… come on, just tell us what happened." She breathed, her voice trembling.

"Kate." Sawyer hissed, pulling her roughly from Shannon's grasp, much to Jack's annoyance.

"Let go…"

"What did he do." He hissed, his grip too tight on her arm, which caused her to sob louder. "No, don't, come on, please, Kate tell me what happened."

"He- he- he's not…"

"Kate!" Sawyer barked, shaking himself now. "What. Did. He. Do."

"He's my dad…" She sobbed. He froze and scowled, his arm still resting on her shoulder.

"What?" Jack breathed, who seemed to have clicked sooner than the others.

"My mom lied!" She yelped, her nails digging into her face. "She- she lied!"

"What do you mean?" He pressed. "How?"

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK?" She screamed, stunning Jack as he jumped slightly.

"Jesus…" Sawyer muttered, as realisation hit. "C'mon." He breathed, making towards Kate, but Shannon pushed him away,

"Leave her!" She hissed.

"No, you leave her. Get up." He breathed, softening his tone and pulling the limp girl out of Shannon's arms. "Come on…"

"Let go…" She choked, trying to pull away as he dragged her out of the room, leaving the gaggle of friends staring after them.

"Come on…" He sighed, pulling her upwards and through the guest bedroom door. "Stop it." He looked down, annoyance being replaced with guilt. He pulled her over to the bed, on which she collapsed, and put his arms round her, still feeling pissed about earlier. "What you been drinking to end up like this?" He soothed, as she sobbed more into his chest. "Shh…" He noticed her hands were clutching at her wrists, but didn't think twice about it, instead pulling her to him and trying to calm her down. "Kate, come on… come on, just try and calm down a bit, we can talk about this, darlin'… we can get through it-."

"No- no I can't." She choked.

"Yeah you can, it don't mean anythin'." She nodded against him, and her elbow knocked at his arm. "Wha-… STOP IT!" He yelped, looking down in horror to see her nails dragging up her arm. She pulled back immediately, and seemed to have genuinely not realised she was doing it, as her eyes filled with tears once again. "What the hell are you playing at- stop … don't cry, Kate please…" He said slightly desperately. "Katie don't-."

"Don't call me Katie." She as good as shrieked, as she choked slightly. He looked down softly, and pulled her head to his chest firmly, stroking her hair as she continued to sob. He knew she was trying to stop, because her arms were constantly wiping tears away and she's be completely still for a moment, before a loud sob broke it, as she found herself unable to control them. "Don't fight it…" He soothed, "Jus' cry." Despite his reassurances she still tried to stop herself in vain, as she clung onto him, their fight forgotten. "I'm not gonna think any less of ya…" He breathed, traces her cheek with his thumb.

"I will though!" She choked, her fingernails digging into his shirt.

"Ok, ok…" He soothed, putting his face down to touch hers. He could tell she'd been drinking something pretty strong from the way she wasn't quite focused on him. "What you been drinking?" He asked softly, reaching across to the bedside table and picking up an empty glass.

"I only had a bit…" She choked, as the music began thumping downstairs.

"You only had a bit." He echoed sarcastically. "What did you only have a bit of?"

"V- V…Vodka." Sawyer nodded an 'of course it is' nod, and continued rocking her gently on his lap. "I only did it cause I… it was g-gross…" He chuckled and ruffled her hair slightly, pulling her closer.

"Why'd ya drink so much then?"

"I didn't… I just drank it all in one go, and then tasted it…"

"You drank the whole bottle?" He sniggered, trying to keep his face calm, but feeling slightly worried all the same. He wasn't about to carry her to hospital to have her stomach pumped at half eleven at night.

"No… there was only a bit… there was only half left." The vodka seemed to be kicking in, as the shock of earlier wore off, and her words became slurred.

"I think you had a bit more than half, sweetcheeks… your not that much of a lightweight." He wanted to get a giggle out of her, but he found nothing. Getting a drunk person to laugh was meant to be easy… "C'mon…" He breathed, pulling his arms round her to try and stifle the sobs that were still being emitted from her lips. She hiccupped and coughed as she tried to force her mouth shut, only to find it more difficult than first thought. "Kate… don't…" He sighed. "Just cry if ya want to."

"I- I don't." She stammered. He rolled his eyes and pulled her backwards onto the bed, but realised this was a mistake when her shoulders jerked. "Ok." He said hurriedly, pulling her back up and leaning forward with her.

"I don't want him to be part of me." She whispered, he could still see the crimson lines on her arm from her nails and shuddered. He didn't want her to go down that path…

"Ok, what did your mom actually say?"

"Sorry… she said she was sorry." Sawyer closed his eyes and rested against her cheek.

"Kate… it doesn't mean anything, ok?"

"Of- of course it d-does!" She stammered. "He's my… did he know?"

"What?"

"My dad… did my dad know?!" She sounded slightly hysterical, as she had ever right to be, but Sawyer grasped her wrists and sat her back down on the bed.

"No, ok, lets not think about that right now, yeah?"

"No!"

"Kate…"

"Why are you calling me Kate? And I'm sorry about the letter, but I want to know if he lied too!…They've all lied…"

"Yeah they have, and you have every damn right to get really mad at them, but lets get mad tomorrow?" Kate scowled across at him, she might be drunk, but she wasn't a little kid and he was treating her like one.

"Don't talk like that… I can do what I would like- what I would- I can do what I like."

"Not when ya can't form proper sentences."

"I can…" He could see how purely angry she was by the way her nails were digging into her palms, and the sobs hadn't yet subsided.

"Shh…" He felt her shudder underneath his arm, and was ready when she gagged. He tried to get her up, but was too late, and she was sick over his lap. "Urgh…" He grimaced. "What is it with you and throwing up on me?"

"I'm sorry…" She groaned, as he stood up and looked down at his jeans.

"Its ok…" He sighed. "Jus' stay there I'm gonna go see if I can borrow some pants off Metro." Kate groaned in response and collapsed sideways onto the bed, trying to block out the destructive thoughts souring through her mind. By the time he had got back, he was wearing new pants, and his shirt was turned inside out.

"Whats up… with your- shh… shirt."

"I've had waaay too much experience with yer bodily fluids fer my liking, and if I need to have more I'm not gettin' my best shirt dirty…" Kate narrowed her eyes at him and hiccupped. "You've not drunk any more have you?"

"No…" She shrugged.

"I think the alcohol's hittin' yer bloodstream on litre at a time…" He chuckled. "You still feel sick?" She nodded solemnly, and rested against the headboard. The tears were still wet on her face, but they had stopped falling, as she blinked with sore eyes. "Ok, that's ok… it don't matter… Shannon tried to come in… but ya don't want her to, do ya?" Kate shook her head slowly and closed her eyes, she groped about on the bed until she found his hands, and took hold.

"I'm sorry… about the l-letter." He stiffened immediately, and she withdrew her hand. "I'm really sorry…"

"Don't." He snapped, moving a couple of inches down the bed.

"Sawyer, please…" She whimpered. There was a paused and she sucked in her breath, wondering whether she should. "That's why you… that's why you use, S-S… that's why you use Sawyer." She said slowly and deliberately, the words rolling off her tongue with difficulty.

"I said don't…" He warned, his fist tightening.

"Sawyer-."

"Kate just-."

"Sawyer-."

"I said-."

"I'm gonna throw up." She whimpered.

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**(Sighs) Ooh dear ...**


	17. Broken So Badly

**Don't worry :P I AM a Skater after all… Lost-Inuyasha gave me the idea for this, even though I've twisted it round slightly!**

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**Broken So Badly**

He rubbed her back gently, and pulled the hair from her face for the seventh time. He'd rolled his eyes about three hundred times so far, but it didn't top him rolling them again, as he put his hand to her head and sighed. Well, at least it had stopped her talking about the letter…

"Its ok…" He soothed, using the soiled towel to dab at her face. "C'mon…"

"I feel terrible…" She moaned, "Ooh my head…"

"I know…" He chuckled softly, pushing the hair back from her face. "But that's yer own fault…"

"Its Wayne's fault…"

"Baby, I hate him as much as you, but how is that his fault?"

"How the hell do you hate him much as me?" She scowled. "Your not the one that has to sit there and listen to… you don't have to-."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry… I don't know at all, its jus' one of those things you tell people ain't it…" Kate groaned, in either annoyance or nausea, and Sawyer patted her head slightly.

"Well don't… I can't believe they… its not fair… its disgusting…"

" Kate, come on, don't think about it now…"

"How can I not?" She choked. "I just…" She shut her eyes and resting her forehead on the toilet seat, before realising what she was doing and pulled back sharply to rest against Sawyer's chest. She didn't want to touch him… she didn't want him to touch her. She felt dirty… another wave passed through her and she pulled away from him to drape her arms over the toilet bowl again. She was physically disgusted with herself, the fact that her skin was brushing up against Sawyer's made her retch again.

"S'ok…" He soothed, he reached across and held the glass under the sink tap, letting the cool water fill it. "Drink this…" She took it slowly, and sipped at it, grimacing as it stung her throat.

"I wanna go home…"

"Ok… later."

"No, now… I wanna go now."

"Kate, when you stop throwing up, then we can go."

"Why are you calling me Kate?" She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder and shutting her eyes.

"Can you stop with the nitpicking already?"

"What?" He sighed and shook his head, wrapping an arm round her shoulders.

"Nothin'…"

"No… no, I just want you to… I want you to tell me whats up with the letter… and Ana, cause-."

"Of for godsake." He snapped, dropping his arms from her shoulder and putting a hand to his head. "Just drop it."

"Why?" She choked, her mind too clouded to think straight. "I want to know what happened, and I want to know why you won't-."

"Nothing happened."

"Well whats the problem with telling me?"

"Why don't you trust me?" She felt a surge of guilt with his words and looked down, then looked back up. How dare he? How dare he turn it round to make her look like the bad guy?

"You cannot-" She hiccupped slightly, which ruined the sentence immediately. "Say that… like I'm bad… I'm not…I only- your…"

"When you tried forming sentences, gimme a ring." He snapped, getting up and striding across the room.

"Get back here!" She yelped. "This is your fault-."

"My fault?" He yelled, now fuming. "How the hell is this my fault?!"

"… You- you…" She filtered off, and tried in vain to piece the words together. "You wouldn't let me in the house so I went back and-."

"Oh, and that made yer mom screw that son-of-a-bitch?" The words made Kate feel sick again, and she blocked her ears with her hands.

"Shut up!"

"What you accuse me of somethin' I'm putting you right!" He snapped. "What the hells wrong with that?"

"If you had let me in… they wouldn't have told me!" She was getting desperate now, the urge to lash out as someone overruling her common sense once again.

"No, but he'd still be yer dad!" He yelled. "He'd still be part of ya, you'd just never know! Hows that better?"

"BECAUSE I WOULDN'T FEEL SICK!" She screamed. He flashed her a look between pity and fury, leaning a hand against the doorframe and closing his eyes, trying to regain control over his emotions. When he next spoke, his voice was low, and he spoke slowly, his eyes were still closed, and his fingers gripping the doorframe tighter.

"Drink that water, I'll get you an aspirin, lay down on the bed, and if your going to throw up do it in the toilet. It ain't hard." The coldness in his voice was masking the emotions inside, but it didn't stop Kate from flinching. "Now… I'm going to get your aspirin." Kate looked down and closed her eyes, as Sawyer strode across the room and yanked the door open, the music pumping through the brief period it was open. She shuddered slightly on the cold tiles, and wrapped her arms round herself, her hair hanging in her eyes as she prayed she wouldn't be sick again. Pressing her back against the wall she blanked her mind and concentrated on the drip of water escaping from the tap of the bath. More music thumped out of the hallway, but Kate didn't bother to open her eyes, expecting it to be Sawyer.

"Kate?" She snapped her head up a little too quickly. Jack was stood in the doorway, his eyes wide in worry, as he crouched down next to her. "Jesus, are you ok?"

"M'fine…" She gagged, getting to her knees and leaning against the toilet.

"Yeah you look it." He sighed. There was an awkward silence in which she breathed heavily, but eventually leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed. "Your freezing…" He breathed, placing a hand against her forearm. "Where's Sawyer?"

"Aspirin…"

"Ok, come on. Lets get you to bed." He took her arm and pulled her upwards.

"No…" She began, trying to pull away. "I feel sick."

"I'll get you a bowl." He smiled gently, "C'mon." Jack put his arm over her shoulder and lifted her slightly, letting her head flop gently against his arm. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Only a little bit… but I think I threw it all up…" She grimaced, sighing as Jack helped her down onto the bed, and pulled the duvet up over her shoulders.

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see you in the morning." He chuckled softly, helping her lay back on the pillow.

"I'd rather stay in the bathroom…" She sighed, rubbing her lips nervously.

"Like I said, there's a bowl in the kitchen." He smiled sadly, giving Kate the familiar uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. He pulled the duvet over her again, tucking her up like a baby and brushing the hair out of her eyes with his fingers. "I'm gonna get that aspirin."

"Kay…" He smiled and backed out the room, wincing as the thumping music filtered through. Kate lay in the semi-darkness for five minutes, feeling her head pound and her stomach turn, until a rather flushed looking Sawyer returned, a crumpled packet in his fingers and a half empty glass clutched in his right hand.

"I thought you felt sick." He said accusingly, putting the glass down heavily on the side table and popping on of the pills. "Here…" She took it between her thumb and forefinger and placed it in her mouth along with a swig of water. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands, the silence descending again. He didn't move and kept quiet, Kate couldn't tell if he was just resting of whether he was upset, but her head was hurting so badly she didn't ask. There was another thump of music, as Jack appeared from the hallway, standing sheepishly with a round blue bowl. He froze when he saw Sawyer, but went forward bravely placing it by Kate's side, who instantly turned over to face it.

"You ok?" He asked softly.

"She's fine." Sawyer snapped, not moving his hands from his head.

"I asked Kate." He said frostily.

"I'm ok-."

"See?" Jack let out an angry breath, and put a hand on Kate's arm.

"You need anything?" He asked, taking a seat at the bottom of the bed, glaring at Sawyer out the corner of his eye.

"She's just drunk, she's fine." Kate winced and looked down.

"Drunk? She's just found out Way-… he's her father, I think-."

"I think you'd better leave. Me and Kate got stuff to talk about." The way he said _Kate_ made her flinch.

"Sawyer… just let her sleep."

"You can't tell me what to do." He said, sounding like a petulant child. "Get out the room."

"Not when your like this, she's shaking." He said pointedly, signalling to Kate, who was indeed visibly shivering under the duvet.

"Get out the room!"

"Sawyer." Jack warned. Kate drew her legs up under the duvet and put her head down on her knees, trying to block out the sound of them arguing. Tears escaped through her closed eyes and her nails dug into her legs, as their voice raised louder and louder. She let out a choked sob, but they didn't hear, and carried on arguing. The tears continued to pour down her face, as she made a whimpering noise and clung onto the sheets tighter.

"STOP IT!" Came a shout from the doorway, as the thumping music filled the half lit room, and Kate felt a breath of fresh air.

"Don't get involved Shannon." Sawyer hissed, his face pressed up to Jack's threateningly.

"Look at her!" Came Claire's voice this time, and the two boys looked over at the huddled Kate, still sobbing quietly under the covers. Sawyer swore quietly, and Jack looked guilty as Claire wrapped her arms round her, and glared accusingly at them. "Get out…" She snapped, stroking Kate's hair softly to try and quieten her cries. There was some kind of scuffle, but Kate was oblivious to the whole thing, and stayed in Claire's arms for the next couple of minutes, until it was just the three girls in the room, the lights turned down dim for Kate's sake, and the covers wrapped round them all, as the music died away downstairs, and the guest lefts, and all that could be heard was the broken girls sobs echoing through the house.

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**Poor Kate :O**


	18. Ribbons and Glitter

**Really short :O Sorry. I wanted this to explore Shannon's feelings rather than Kate's, did I do it ok? Happy chapter next :D R&R!! **

**Oh and I won't be able to update till the day after tomorrow, darn homework right?**

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**Ribbons And Glitter**

The two girls looked up as Kate entered the room, dressed in her jeans and a large blue hoodie of Shannon's.

"Hey…" Claire smiled softly. "You ok?" She nodded and took a seat at the table her arms clutched round her shoulder, hugging herself. She had dark rings round her eyes, and her hair was tied back tightly, escaping in soft twists at the back. After the night the three girls had had, it was no doubt they were tired. Apart from the dashed trips to the bathroom and the relentless sobbing, they'd spotted the red marks on her arm and sat up hours just talking. But even by the early morning when Shannon and Claire were asleep, they were sure Kate hadn't at all, because for brief periods when the two girls awoke, she was staring to the side, her eyes wide open and glassy. There were five voice messages on their answering-machine, all from Jack. Shannon was half pissed that Sawyer hadn't rung, but half relieved, the last thing she needed was more hassle from him. She'd spent the whole night, and most of the morning throwing up. Claire had squealed each time, and run from the room to fuss in the kitchen, unable to stand by and hear her be sick. Shannon had held her hair back and soothed her softly, having had enough experience in the last several months with herself, but this was different. She'd been sobbing hysterically while heaving into the toilet bowl, she'd clawed at her jeans and it had been less a disgusting accident then a desperate act of repulsion. It broke Shannon's heart to see her friend so repulsed by the blood in her own body, that it was forcing her to throw up. She'd never tell Kate why the weight was dropping of her, because Kate didn't want to throw up, yet she was making herself. It sounded selfish and disgusting, but she had to do it. It had become a ritual, and she couldn't bring herself to break it. Kate looked at the toast on the plate dubiously as Shannon cut hers into smaller pieces.

"You don't have to eat it." She smiled, seeing the sigh of relief her friend uttered at her words. "But drink something, cause your probably dehydrated after last night…"

"And this morning." Claire said softly.

"Boone left with one of his mates to give us some space… I don't think he could handle all the girl-ness." Shannon chuckled, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Kate smiled softly, and pulled her legs up on the chair, her eyes drooping slightly, clearly exhausted. There was an awkward silence in which the three girls looked between each other quietly.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." Kate smiled. "Thanks… I guess I drank more than I thought…"

"Yeah, well… Jack rang. Wanted to know how you were…"

"Oh right…" She chewed her lips for a moment, clearly wondering about Sawyer.

"He wondered if he could come round?" She smiled. "You think he could…?"

"Sure…" There was another silence in which Kate continued to bite her nails. "Can I borrow some of your makeup Shan?"

"Yeah, sure…" She smiled softly, looking worriedly into her friend's pale face. "You want me to help?" There was a pause in which Kate nodded slowly.

* * *

She didn't look any better with the makeup on. In fact, it almost made her look worse. The blush on her cheeks made her look even paler, and Shannon ended up wiping it off as Claire did her lipgloss. 

"You look prettier without it…" She smiled softly. "C'mon lets go downstairs… eat something, yeah?"

"Yeah." She mumbled, "Just give me a minute." Shannon and Claire reluctantly left her alone, and padded downstairs, seating themselves in the living room and flicking on the TV.

"She's going to be ok, right?" Claire mumbled, looking across at Shannon.

"I… dunno… look at her. She can't keep anything down, whatever the hell Sawyer was playing at worked… how could he…?"

"What did he actually say to her?"

"I don't know… either way she's a mess… and I don't like her being on her own, that look in her eye's scary. I'm gonna go get her… then get Jack to come round, maybe he can get something down her…"

"Ok… I'll ring him, and you go get her… I'll call Sawyer too."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Claire shrugged, but took up the phone anyway. Climbing up the stairs, Shannon strained to hear any noise from the bedroom, but heard non, and went in without knocking. She was in the same position as she left her, her knees drawn up to her chest, her head laid down.

"Oh Kate…" She said sadly, pulling her to her. "C'mon, sweetheart."

"Don't…" She whispered. "I don't… where's Sawyer?"

"… I don't know, home probably." Kate nodded softly, and leaned back against the bed, letting her hair drape forwards into her eyes. "He's not… he's not rung… but I'm sure he will, if he does, do you want to talk to him?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Kate said in a small voice.

"Well… it was just, last night you seemed…you were…"

"I'm fine… he just got upset." Her tone was completely flat and she wasn't looking at Shannon at all, just staring blankly at the wall. There was a long silence, in which neither girls moved, but Kate broke it first. "I made him cry…"

"…What?"

"Sawyer." Shannon blinked, wondering why she was telling her this.

"I'm sure he got over it-."

"No, I made him cry…he'll be mad at me." Shannon shook her head softly, and put a comforting hand on Kate's forearm.

"No, no he'll just want to help you… you can get through this, y'know…don't let Wayne win-." Kate laughed coldly and stared Shannon hard in the eyes.

"Win? He won by screwing my mother. He won, by taking everything good away from me… I feel dirty, Shannon… you know how that feels? I looked in the mirror this morning and threw up… he already won."

"No, no he didn't. Your not… your not dirty."

"I'm part of him! He hits his wife, he hits his step-… he hits his daughter… that's dirty…"

"Kate, your not… your ok." Shannon looked defiantly down at the girl, who looked anything but fine and held her hands. "Your ok, your going to be fine…"

They sat for a while in silence, Shannon rubbing Kate's hand, and Kate staring blankly ahead, not really seeing anything. It was only when Shannon shook her shoulder slightly, that they got up and went downstairs. They watched the kids TV they used to, and played cheerful music, trying in vain to keep Kate's spirits up. But Shannon had a feeling, that it was going to take a lot more than Ribbons and Glitter to make her better this time.

"Jack's coming round." Claire whispered into Shannon's ear, as Kate went to get a drink, "I rang Sawyer, but he hung up on me… he sounded nearly as bad as her."

"That's cause he's so damn stubborn." She sighed in annoyance. "Well… we're gonna have to help 'em out…"


	19. About Ana

**Ok, i guess i can update today after all :P Sorry bout that :P ****Thanks for the reviews:D Hehe. I had to get them back together…and then I had to bring the Ana thing up. **

**Anyways. I'm doing the last chapter tomorrow, cause I though it was a good place to end it, like :) R&R!!**

* * *

**About Ana**

"Get up." Shannon grinned, pulling the cover off Kate and opening the curtains.

"S'matter?" She mumbled, brushing the sleep out of her eyes. "S'too early…"

"Its half twelve… come on, your coming out."

"What? No Shannon… I'm tired, I still feel sick-."

"You always feel sick, you've not thrown up for, what- three hours? Your fine… come on." Kate groaned and sat up, raking the hair out of her eyes. "Come on…"

"Shannon…"

"C'mon! We're going out for lunch."

"I'm not hungry…"

"You can drink water." She said cheerfully. Her hair was already straightened and glossed over, as was her makeup, her clothes pristine as she pulled Kate up out of bed with considerable force. "Up." Using all her strength, she steadied herself on the floor and padded over to the ensuite bathroom, scrubbing at her face with the damp wash cloth.

"Where we going?" She mumbled, leaning against the sink heavily.

"Just the Pink Lemonade." She smiled. Kate closed her eyes. The Pink Lemonade was a lovely café and all, everything was shades of bubblegum pink, sugar mandarin, and pastel lemon's, everything smelt like Sugary Raspberries, and while the music was cute, full of pop and dance tracks, right now Kate wanted complete silence and black duvets. She looked down at her clothes and grimaced. "Yeah, you can borrow some of mine."

"They'll be way too small, your tiny." Kate pointed out, still getting the worry in her stomach as she took in Shannon's waist and arms and-

"No they won't." She chuckled. "And if they are, you can wear the bigger size ones."

"Shannon…" She whined pathetically. "Pleaaaase!"

"No." She trilled. "Come on, I'll do your makeup." Shannon smiled and pulled her out the room, seating her down heavily on the stool in her bedroom and bringing out her makeup. "I'm looking for greens for you eyes, and lipgloss. Nothing else, yeah?" Kate shrugged and let Shannon twist open the bottles and fluff up the powders. She had absolutely no idea what the hell the difference was between Emerald Green and Grass Green, and didn't really care whether the mascara was three times the 'length' or three times the 'strength', and so let her friend choose. "There… beautiful."

"Thanks, I guess…" She sighed.

"C'mon. You need to pick out an outfit."

"Shannon…"

"Ok, I'll pick." She grinned. "These jeans… and this top…with this jacket."

"I want my hoodie." She said stubbornly.

"Its blue."

"That's pink." She pointed, looking at the skimpy jacket with distain.

"How can I work with you?" Shannon chuckled, ignoring Kate's attempts to pick a fight. "These, and this, and this…. With that."

* * *

By the end of the hour, Kate was showered, makeup-ed, brushed and dressed. All under Shannon guidance. Kate had secretly wiped the eyeshadow off, but whatever was on Shannon's mind was obviously keeping her occupied and she didn't realise. Kate brushed her hair back and crossed her legs, trying to keep out the chill as Shannon drooled over the menus.

"How many calories is that-." She began.

"It's a salad, Shan…" She sighed. "Get something hot, its freezing."

"Everything hot has calories."

"Shannon." Kate sighed. A young blonde waiter sidled up to them, her inch long fake nails tapping at her belt.

"Can I take your order?"

"Yeah." Kate cut in. "Two hot chocolates, two cheese toasties and…tomato soup."

" Kate! That cheese-."

"Is good for you." She smiled, as the waiter slunk away, leaving the two girls at the table. "So… whats the big plan?"

"What?" Shannon asked a little too quickly. "No plan. No… its … Sawyer." Kate looked down instantly, her hands going up to wrap round her shoulders.

"Why?… When."

"Any minute."

"Why have you gone as secret agent. Why didn'tcha just tell me?"

"Cause you would have freaked out, made yourself ill again, or refused to come."

"I wouldn't…."

"Har, har." Shannon said dryly, looking around for any sign of him. "No, he'll be here any minute."

"Right…" Kate's persona had changed completely, and she looked small again, her eyes cast to the floor. Once the food came, neither girls tucked in, although Kate kept the hot chocolate mug cupped in her hands for warmth, and Shannon didn't seem to be able to take her eyes of the cheese toasties.

"Hey Shan-." Sawyer's voice cut behind them. He looked dishevelled, his blonde hair more mussed than usual, his clothes rumpled and his face tired and unshaven. "Kate… didn't know you were gonna be here." Even Shannon flinched at his tone this time, it was more disappointed then anything.

"Yep." She smiled brightly, pulling Sawyer down to sit down at a chair. He folded his arms across his chest and watched Shannon pointedly, his eyes swivelling round to Kate. Sawyer was forcing himself not to, but it was so hard, and in the end gave up and asked her.

"You ok?" Kate nodded, but didn't look up, and he felt the guilt resurface. "Good…."

"We've got food." Shannon smiled. "Help yourself." Sawyer nodded, and picked up a toastie almost instinctively. He didn't eat it, but tore the crust up slightly between his fingers. "Well…" Shannon grinned, looking considerably guilty. "I'd better go. Catch you later, Kate."

"Wha-." Sawyer began, choking slightly. "Why-."

"Shan, I-." Kate tried, looking slightly wide eyed as she left the table and walked away. Sawyer gave Kate a half hearted smile, but it died away and they were left in quiet.

"So…you been stayin' at Shannon's…?"

"Yeah." She sighed, taking a sip of the hot chocolate, which was now more chilled than anything.

"Right… you talked to them?" Kate shook her head, then smiled slightly. How had she known he was talking about her mom and- her parents. "Right…" There was a longer pause, and Sawyer realised she wasn't going to say anything so stepped up himself. "What are you going ta do… y'know…when ya hafta go back?" The fear that flashed across his face cause him another pang of guilt, and he mentally kicked himself for bringing it up.

"Um… I'm not sure."

"Oh…" There was another painful silence in which Kate took another sip of chocolate and placed in back down, tracing the swirls on the tabletop with her fingers. "I never meant ta-…" He trailed off, trying to force the words out, but failing as Kate looked up expectantly. "Hurt ya." He finished softly, the sandwich now in crumbs on the tabletop.

"You didn't." She said flatly.

"No, I did…" He breathed. "I should have been there for ya, not like I was… I never meant ta make you cry."

"Never meant to make _you_ cry." She whispered, looking down.

"I didn't." He snapped, causing her to bow her head further. "Sorry… it was just you bangin' on about damn Ana-Lulu and the- the letter… and I just overreacted kay?"

"Okay…" She echoed, clearly not.

"Liar." He said softly, licking his lips nervously and leaning forward over the table. "I jus' didn't know what ta do, ok? I can't do lookin' after people. I'd just screw it up, and hurt 'em more or somethin'…" He trailed off in embarrassment at the intimate detail he had just revealed.

"I didn't want you to look after me." Kate exclaimed sadly. "I just wanted you to hold me… and say it was ok… even if I shouted at you for doin' it." She added, almost grumpily. Sawyer chuckled slightly, and shook his head gently.

"I know… I jus' panicked…Come 'ere." He sighed, getting up from his chair, and wrapping his arms round her. "I'm sorry…"

"So am I." She smiled softly, letting him pull her closer as she pressed her face against his coat and closed her eyes. Jesus, she didn't realise how much she missed him in two damn days!

"Bu' Kate…" He sighed suddenly, putting her at arms length and looking her in the eyes. "About Ana…"

**

* * *

Dun dun duuuh:P **


	20. Brand New Day

**Last chapter :O Aww I'm gonna miss updating :P**

** SassyLostie; Ooh an audition? That's so cool :O Swear words:P Felt right to put them in. Poor Kate's had I rough time I'd be swearin' too :P**

**Don't own the lyrics or song Brand New Day- Forty Foot Echo. It belongs to them, and their genius peoples, but is it just me or do you think it's the perfect song fer Skate:D **

**Anyways R&R!!**

* * *

**Brand New Day**

She pulled back and looked at him darkly. She didn't want to think the worst of him, but the way his eyes clouded over with guilt…

"Yeah?" She squeaked. He swallowed, his hands moving up and down her arms as she took a breath.

"Look… ok, the first thing you have to know, is that its nothing, ok? It meant nothing…" Kate's stomach fell and she closed her eyes briefly, but opened them as she sensed Sawyer's anxiety. "And I only didn't tell you, cause you would have got freaked out, and… and I love you. Ok? I love you… I don't-… ok." Her face was set as he began to talk, her mouth forming an 'O' in confusion. "I never led her on, I mean… I did, but no more than usual… you know what I mean, right?… And… she only did it quick… we never did anything serious-."

"Jus' say it Sawyer." Kate spat, in absolutely no mood to bother about hurting his feelings.

"She made a pass- I never kissed her back, I swear it… Kate…" He began, seeing her bite her lip.

"… You were jealous of Tom, so you made out with Ana…"

"I wasn't jealous, and we didn't make out, she kissed me. Once, I never kissed back, I swear it, I pushed her away… your not gonna freak out about this are ya?" Kate looked confused, her face was crumpled in the effort to work out how she should react. Jesus Christ, it was just one thing after another! Why couldn't she have a normal step-dad, who wasn't her _biological_ dad? Couldn't she have a boyfriend who could actually _talk_ to her?

"… So why did you take so long to tell me?"

"Cause everything happened one after another, he broke yer arm, then we screwed-." She raised an eyebrow slightly. "And then the letter thing, and then this… You don't exactly got the perfect life or luck, darlin'… I didn't want ta hurt you more…"

"You should have-."

"I know… Kate… I'm sorry."

"Sorry?… Jesus Christ, you didn't…if you'd have just told me when it happened, I wouldn't have cared! She made a pass at you… but the fact that you… do you like her?" He looked at her incredulously and shook his head violently.

"No! Kate, I just said…"

"Sawyer." She said through gritted teeth. "You should have said-."

"I didn't want ta hurt ya-."

"FOR FUCKS SAKE SAWYER!" She yelled suddenly, catching him off guard, as she closed her eyes for a moment. "Sorry…" She mumbled. "Ok, this might not be a big deal for you, but the last couple of weeks have been pretty eventful, Christmas is in a couple days I'm not speaking to what little family I have, my boyfriend's been kissed by someone else and he's lied about it for however damn long, my step-dad turned out to be my dad, who broke my arm, and my mom just doesn't care…" Sawyer winced as she put it into perspective. "I'm so… fucking tired! I just want a normal life! Is that really too much to ask? I just want a dad, who doesn't hit me and a mom who actually cares!"

"Yeah? I want my parents back too. We all got stuff ta deal with, darlin." He said frostily, not meaning it at all. She understood the second he said it, and didn't pick up on it. She sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging and dropped onto the chair, folding her arms and crossing her legs in an effort to keep out the cold. "Sorry…" He mumbled, still mentally kicking himself. He just wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and hide her away from a world that seemed set on breaking her, and god, they were nearly there.

"S'fine."

"That always yer answer? Cause ya seemed to have used it a hell of a lot in the last couple weeks! And judgin' by the look in yer eyes, yer always lyin'."

"Sawyer, its ok."

"No its not… I should have said. I'm sorry, ok? I just screw things up…I can't help it." Kate looked sideways, and frowned.

"You never screwed this up."

"Damn, Kate… we haven't spoken since I was dragged outta that room with you sobbin' and shakin'. I lied about kissin' Ana…"

"Do you want me to be mad at you?" Kate said softly. He bristled and looked at her like she was crazy, his gaze just a little too animated to be believable.

"What are you on about? I jus' want you to…"

"Sawyer." She sighed, placing her hands either side of his face and looking into his eyes, it almost made her giggle because the words together sounded like some soppy romantic film, but she carried on. "If you mean it… if you never kissed her back…you never screwed this up."

"How the hell'd you work that one out, Sassafras?" He challenged.

"Sawyer… stop it." His playful smirk slipped away and he stared at her properly, her freckles standing out on her nose. She'd never seen him look so open and sincere, his eyes were wide and looked about eight years old. "I love you… you didn't screw this up. I guess we just got bad luck…"

"Damn right." He chuckled weakly, still staring into her eyes like he couldn't let go. They must have looked strange, just staring at each other in the middle of a public café, but they didn't care. As long as they had each other they were untouchable. "I love you, Freckles…" And it was stupid, cause Kate had never asked for acceptance from anyone. She didn't need it. But when he said that, she forgot about her mum. She forgot about Wayne. She didn't care that she felt dirty. He loved her.

"I love you too… I love you so much." She smiled. "We can do it, right?"

"Course…" He replied, running his fingers through her hair again, something he felt he hadn't done in years. "And we don't need anyone else…"

"Just us?" She smiled. "We might get lonely."

"Things can't always be perfect." He sniggered, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Ya damn perfectionist."

_Never thought I'd say I'm sorry  
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down  
Now when I look out my window  
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around_

_And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
Tomorrow's a brand new day  
Tomorrow's a new day_

_We said we'd take little time  
For both of us to see  
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on  
Yeah, I know I got crazy  
Well I guess that's just me  
If I could turn back time before  
The wrong_

_And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
Tomorrow's a brand new day  
Tomorrow's a new day_

_Ya, And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
I think I'll change my ways_

_Never thought I'd say I'm sorry  
Never thought I'd be the one  
To bring you down_

* * *

**I know the whole Shannon's eating disorder was left open, I was planning on some big revelation about that (you know how much I love angst) but it turned out like this :P I know in the show, there was a oneliner from Boone about her being bulimic, and while this is totally AU, I liked following the faintest of guidelines. Anyways, I'd totally love to write something else, I just need to, y'know, figure out what. ( I did think about some kind of closure on the bulimic/Shannon thing) Thank you soooo much for the reviews, you seriously have no idea how happy they made me. Hope you enjoyed it:D **

**xox Katie **♥


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